Selfish
by TwoCute
Summary: Slight AU. Zim and Dib are close friends but Dib feels more than that for the irken and feels even more when Zim takes Dib out to see the stars.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I am not dead! Yaay! I am back with a new story! Well, It's old but I finally got a hold of it and now it's new again?...Yes. So This one is really long and I already have 8 and 0.25 chapters done and the story itself is not complete but close to it. So yeah, long. **

**Just a little note, I'm trying to work on my current stories, "Hold On" and "Nothing to Lose, Something to Gain" but I am lost in both. ;A; I have outlines for them though...so I'm hoping I can get back to them and finish them soon. **

**I also want to write one-shots cause long stories are killing me even though I love them! Anyways, no one reads these so I'll shut up. DX**

**I really hope you guys like this one cause I do!**

I looked out the window as it began to rain. I frowned a bit and looked in Zim's direction. Zim too was wearing a frown, it was a bigger frown than mine. Water severely burned the alien's green skin and I wondered what it felt like to burn when water hit your skin but didn't want to experience it at all.

I went back to doodling on my page. Lately me and Zim had been hanging out, mostly out of boredom. I have nothing better to do but study Zim and Zim was having a 'break' from destroying the world so we settled on a neutral agreement to hang out after school. I was ok with it, I mean at first I was suspicious -very suspicious- but Zim was uncaring of my suspicion and eventually it wore off.

On nice days, we would go out to eat at fast food places and I would gorge on whatever I bought while Zim just watched in pure disgust. At one point Zim demanded that I actually chew my food at least 10 times before I swallowed it. I argued with him about it and told him 'you're not the boss of me' and 'I'll do what I want, it's my food'. But then he took my food and hid it in his PAK where I could never access it again. The next time we ate at McMeaties, Zim watched me intensively as I tried to chew as he told me to. It was hard at first but now it was automatic.

But today was a rainy day so I might just walk Zim home or he'll come over and raid my candy stash. What he didn't know was that I kept it just for him since all he ate was sweet things and occasionally waffles.

I had to admit though, me and Zim were pretty good friends. We had hated each other for a really long time, since elementary school and we were in high school now. It sounded like a very long grudge but it was only the simple fact that Zim was a threat to earth and I was a threat to Zim's mission. Now that Zim was procrastinating –although he denies this- on his mission and earth was still rotating on its axis, everything was fine. But this truce won't last forever.

The teacher droned on and on about Shakespeare and his Macbeth play. Personally, I like Macbeth way more than Romeo and Juliet. The story line was way more realistic, making it more enjoyable than a story about sappy love at first sight crap were preteens kill themselves for their endless love for each other.

I heard the teacher say something about the story of Macbeth being made for the King of Scotland but the King didn't like it. I laughed at that and Zim was laughing too. Students stared at us and the teacher shushed us. We looked at each other and blushed a little, at least I did.

One thing about Zim was that I could never tell what he was feeling. I always knew when he was mad of course but ever since our strange friendship there has been a tension. It was faint but I feel it and it felt like the more I hung out with Zim the closer I wanted to get to him. The time we spend together gave me butterflies and I start to feel stupid. I'm not supposed to feel like this towards Zim. My 'frienimy'. I could ignore it but it would help to know if Zim felt the same way. But I'm afraid that asking him will ruin whatever it was we had. I like what we had and I hope he did too.

The bell rang for lunch and all the students rushed out the door. I was usually the last to get out of the room and Zim complained about it but he always waited for me.

Today Zim seemed more off than usual. As if he was constantly thinking or preoccupying his mind.

"Zim?" I called his name to get his attention.

"Eh?" he replied. A typical Zim response.

"What's up?" I was going to ask him if he was ok, but that sounded to girly.

"Uhm, nothing." he said looking around the cafe. I assumed he was looking for a place to sit. When we found one, we sat across from each other as usual and Zim was still looking around the cafe.

"What are you doing Zim?" I asked.

"Wha? Oh, uh nothing." he faced me. I got knots in my stomach when he stares at me with those fake indigo eyes. I feel even worse when they're his natural ones.

"Seriously Zim, what's up?" I asked for the second time.

Zim looked down for a bit and then back at me. "Can we skip school today?"

The question caught me off guard. Why did the alien seem so...cautious. The alien was probably trying to avoid a test or something again.

"All day?" I asked and Zim nodded.

I wasn't big on skipping but once in a while was alright.

"Um, sure, I guess. Is there a reason why you want to skip all of a sudden?" I asked as I got up from the bench.

Zim blushed and-. _Wait, what!_ Zim was blushing! I think he was. The surface of his face was more dark than usual.

"Zim...eh, wants to be alone...with the Dib." Zim said nervously. My heart skipped a couple beats. "Completely, alone." the Irken added, almost in a harsh tone.

I started at Zim and couldn't find any words to say. Thoughts were racing in my head all at once and if I opened my mouth I might vomit nonsense to the alien. So I kept it simple.

"...Kay."

We got up and left the cafe.

We walked up to my locker first to grab my umbrella which I kept in there for rainy days. For Zim. I gave it to Zim to hold onto as I shut my locker.

"So...have any plans for us today?" I asked as we walked down the hall.

"Zim has something really special that he wants to show you." Zim said grinning happily at me. I smiled back.

"Do I get to know what it is?" I tried to coax the surprise out of the alien.

"Nope." The alien shook his head. "It's a surprise."

"Aw, are you good at keeping surprises within a 20 minute time length?" That's how long it took to get to Zim's house from the school.

"Very good." Zim smirked, causing me to whine a little bit. "Zim is amazing at everything!" He said thrusting his index finger in the air and I laughed as usual at how cocky he was.

We walked down the stairs until we reached the last floor and in front of the exit doors, Zim tried to open the umbrella but he always had difficulties doing it. He looked so cute pointing the umbrella downward to fiddle with the button and he would make grunting sounds as he struggled to open the 'life saver' as he called it. I chuckled and placed my hands on his, stopping his movements which were making things worse.

Zim looked up, startled.

"You press this thing remember." I said while holding his tiny finger to the button that magically opens the umbrella. The umbrella opened and I smiled and removed my hands, missing the contact. That was when I realized that not only did I have feelings for Zim, I literally wanted to feel him. I was scaring myself.

"Stupid humans are their simpleness." Zim grumbled as he lifted the umbrella over his head.

"Simple is easy and easy is good," I informed him.

We walked through the doors; it wasn't raining a lot but still enough to harm Zim. The downcast sky was grey and dismal and Zim popped out like contrast outside with the pink umbrella he made me buy. Irkens have a thing for pink. I wondered if they wore pink underwear too, the thought made me I giggle. Zim stared at me like I was laughing like a mad man.

"What's so funny, human?" He still called me little pet names relating to my species and or smell. Sometimes he would attach any random word that suited the situation. For example, when I ate hamburgers, chances are he would call me Dib-buger. I became immune to them all, in fact, I was beginning to like them.

"Oh nothing." I said teasingly, knowing it would make the alien mad.

"LIAR!" he pointed accusingly at me. The action removed the umbrella from above my head.

"Hey!" I said, wanting the umbrella over my head again. I reached for the handle and tugged it back but Zim pulled back.

"Only if you tell Zim why you were laughing, Dib-stink." he taunted and I narrowed my eyes.

"Fine. Just come back, I don't want to get wet either." I said and Zim scooted back, waiting for me to speak. I giggled a little again.

"Ok, so I was wondering since Irken's liked pink so much that...Hehheh, they'd wear pink underwear." I said childishly, sticking out my tongue.

Zim gave me a very blank look. so I tried to explain.

"Well you know...pink panties...heh...no?" I failed to really get the point across. Zim gave me a curious look.

"Irkens don't wear underwear, Dib-thing." He said plainly. My face flushed as I nervously scratched the back of my head.

"Oh..." Now I was thinking about how Zim wasn't wearing anything underneath his tight pants. My cheeks lit up. "Nevermind then." I muttered looking away from Zim.

I didn't see the naughty grin Zim was wearing as he said "My, my Dib, thinking about pink Irken panties, hmm, were they lacy?" Zim asked all perverted like, really not helping my embarrassment.

I snapped my head back. "No! I was just assuming things." Suddenly things got a little serious.

"Dib, have you ever dated a female-unit?" Zim asked.

I didn't really like when he asked about these kind of things, It wasn't as much as an invasion of privacy as much as they made me feel like blurting out things I knew I'd regret. I had to watch my tongue with these things around Zim but I wish I could be open with Zim without worrying about consequences.

"Um, have you ever seen me date one? We've known each other for quite some time." I told him, kind of surprized that he wouldn't already know something like that.

"Fair enough." Zim said. I looked at the ground while Zim stayed alert, head held up as usual. I didn't want to conversation to end yet...

"Why?"

"You humans 'date' and stuff at this age so Zim was wondering when you would start." He said as if I'd actually start dating. I laughed a little.

"I don't think I will." I said and it shocked the green alien for some reason. "What?" I asked.

"Why not? It's natural right?" Zim sounded so serious and informed. like he knew this stuff.

"Um...I guess." I started feeling ashamed a little. I should be going out on dates with girls but instead I chose to fall for Zim.

"You guess? Are you not interested in dating?"

"Uh...why are you asking me this...I don't know..." I looked to where a faraway building was; sort of wishing I was over there and away from Zim. I hated feeling this way.

"I'm just curious Dib-monster. No need to get all uh depressed...er whatever it is you are doing." Zim seemed confused about my reaction. He didn't understand what it felt like to be in the position I was in. But I got myself into it.

"Oh, ok...I just feel more comfortable dating people I've known for a long time I guess." I said a little less scared since I felt bad for kind of freaking out at the alien, but then I realized that that could easily apply to Zim. _Shit_ I thought. Zim won't catch onto it though. I hope.

"Hmm." was all Zim had to say. It was kind of a disappointing answer since I couldn't tell if he related that to our relationship or not. I didn't mean for it to be but it suited anyhow.

"Do Irkens date?" I finally asked.

"Invaders don't." he said firmly. I felt my heart break a little. Zim was still devoted to his mission of course. I must be insane to think me and Zim could actually...

"Makes sense. You are shipped off to unknown planets, alone and stuff..." I said in an attempt to reason with my aching heart.

"Exactly...plus invaders are equipped with PAKS that store no room for inferior things such as 'feelings'." Zim said, just adding to the pain. Terror threatened to bomb the remains of my now torn heart. I didn't want to show Zim that I had such inferior feelings, I could ignore them...but why do they have to hurt so much?

"D-do you mean feelings such as...love?" my voice was quite. I knew the answer to the question but I was hoping that hearing Zim say the hurtful answer would destroy my feelings for him, right then and there.

"Remorse, mercy, sorrow...and definitely love." Zim said in a grim voice. I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything. What was left to say about the matter? Zim would never return my feelings because he doesn't have them in the first place.

"Dib?" Zim's voice saved me from the darkness clouding my mind.

"Yeah?"

"Do these things bother you?" He asked in slight concern. I never expected him to ask me for a personal response.

"Uh...they just..." I bit my lip.

Zim stopped walking and I looked at him, still biting my bottom lip a little. It was my defence mechanism for keeping my mouth shut and I think Zim knew that.

"They just what?" he urged. Why was he forcing me to speak all of a sudden.

"They just seem...a little...cold. That's all." I stared at him, a little confused and scared that he could sense something.

I heard Zim sigh. "So very cold, Dib." he said as he began to walk again. I stood there, not sure what to make out of that but followed him soon after.

I climbed into Zim's voot cruiser like he told me to and Gir was keeping me guarded. As requested from Zim, who marched down some tube thing that lead him somewhere. When we entered Zim's house, it was pitch black, as if nothing worked and it gave me the creeps. But I was fine because Zim let me hold his hand and he guided me. I felt like dying. I was extremely happy and extremely sad at the same time. It tore me apart but I kept myself together.

The little alien ship seemed to be in a vast area that had a triangular shaped ceiling meaning we were in Zim's roof.

I looked at Gir, he was free of costume and those bright blue eyes were giving me a headache since they were the only source of light in the dark, dark place.

"Gir...can you stop looking at me...your hurting my head." I grunted. I didn't hate the little robot...he was annoying though.

"But I'mma watch you good for master!" he almost shrieked and I pressed my hands to my ears and groaned louder. Then I heard Zim.

"Gir! Don't kill the human!" He shouted. I looked up and vaguely saw the form of Zim's figure. So slim and firm. And those giant magenta eyes are so alluring. I wanted so bad to get lost in them. So very lost...in...

"Dib!"

I seemed to snap out of a daze I wasn't aware I was in...

"I really did get lost in them..." I whispered to myself. But Zim heard.

"Lost in what?" he asked. He sounded kind of angry or irritated for some reason as he climbed into the voot cruiser to get to the pilot seat.

"Oh, uh, nothing." I shifted to give Zim some room. "Where did you go?" I asked to change the subject.

"I just had to check some things." Zim said, pressing the touch screen buttons on the voot cruiser screen. I leaned to the side to see what he was doing. It was all in Irken and I could make out a few words like 'fuel', something 'power' and 'full storage' Since they were on Tak's ship once. I questioned the full storage and Zim was impressed.

"You can read Irken?" his voice had a hint of amazement in it and I smirked.

"A little." I said smugly. I was proud of how much Irken I knew actually.

Then Zim took my chin in his three clawed hand and said something in Irken to me. I had no clue what the hell he said but the sound of the clicks and pops were nice to hear. And the look Zim gave me, even though all I could really see was his eyes, made my face heat up.

The phrase was short but who knows, it could have been equivalent to a paragraph.

I didn't say anything when Zim released my chin and bent side ways to adjust something. I just sat beside him, feelings of all sorts raging through my body. As they passed my heart, it stung. How much did I like Zim?

"I WANT TACOOOOOS!" Gir randomly screamed and I didn't expect it so I yelped. Zim slapped Gir across the head.

"GIR! What did I tell you!"

Gir just gave Zim a sad face and his antennae lowered, like Zim's did when he was feeling sad or mad. I felt bad for the little guy, so I padded my lap in hopes that Gir would understand my gesture. I knew he wasn't a dog but I figured it would work. And it did. The robot went lunging for my lap.

"YAAY!" He yelled and had his little robot arms in the air. Zim straightened his back and looked at us.

"I believe we are set to go." he informed us. Again Gir screamed yay and I asked where we were going.

The glass or plastic wind shield began to slowly make its way down with a hissing noise.

"I suppose you can know now Dib." Zim said watching the wind shield. "We're going into space." he turned to show a zipper-like grin at me. His teeth were so white.

"Space!" I almost jumped. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I've been to space before but I never got to _really_ enjoy it. Is that why Zim brought me here? To look at space?

"Yes, Dib-monkey. Space. You like space right?" Zim asked with a smile. The scratches on my heart started rapidly sowing up for such a huge thing to do for a person. Everyone wanted to see space.

Before Zim could resist, I pulled him into a tight hug and I heard him gasp.

"Thanks, Zim." I said against his antennae that hung loosely behind his head. They shot up when I squeezed him again.

"Nurgh. Sure thing, Diblet." He said patting my arm, not entirely sure what to do. I leaned back a little to look at him in the face.

"No one has ever given me something so great before." I almost whispered to him. I knew I was acting like a mushy sap but I was seriously touched, so much so that I could kiss Zim right there but I knew better.

Zim's face was suddenly gloomy as he looked down at the screen while he said "It's nothing, really." When he saw my concerned look he said "Just enjoy it as much as you possibly can, alright?"

I backed away from him fully and smiled. "I will." and with that Zim started the engine and the roof began to reveal the grey sky. I took in a deep breath as the Irken ship rose and began to take off.

As I closed my eyes, I became preoccupied with anticipating what was to come that I completely ignored the sound of crumbling walls and the creeks and snaps of wood.

**They aren't too OOC are they! I guess it's ok it they are, just to fit the story line. **

**It gets better, I swear! ;A;**


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologize for any grammer mistakes!**

The stars really were fucking amazing.

My hands were glued to the windshield and I couldn't peel my eyes way, not even for a second. I didn't think I'd ever been so full of bliss. How can something so black and lifeless be so beautiful? The amount of stars was endless and stretched as far as the eye can see, and much, much farther.

Space could make you feel so invincible and yet so insignificant. There I was in a never ending mass of dark matter, stars and a billion unknown things that could be within this overwhelming mass of mystery we call the universe. What was I to this unexplainable sea of darkness? Nothing. I served no purpose in space and space didn't need my existence to help it in anyway.

All I could do was become transfixed by the marvellous stars that twinkled like diamonds through the ominous black.

I stared at space in utter awe for about 2 hours. My neck was killing me from looking up through the windshield for so long.

"You're really enjoying this, Dib." Zim spoke for the first time, his voice low but soft.

Still looking up I replied "It's so...beautiful."

"You don't have stare up like that..." Zim said while he began massaging my neck. I stiffened for a second but relaxed soon after, sighing heavenly to myself.

"Zim...you are the greatest friend I've ever had." I told him and I didn't really know why I said it all of a sudden. I was on the verge of tearing up and I really hopped Zim wouldn't freak out if I did cry. They would be tears of joy.

Zim's hand trailed down my back and I felt a shiver run up my spine. I'm not used to Zim...touching me...why was he so touchy now? I didn't mind it though.

"Silly, Dib, I'm your only friend." He reminded me as he began to slowly rubbing my back. I noticed that Zim was looking at me with those magenta eyes.

"I know..." I said softly. "but still...thanks" I looked at him and gave him a little smile. Zim looked down to the floor of the cruiser like he did last time I thanked him. I started to panic a little. Did I say too much! Am I freaking him out! Maybe he was afraid to admit how much he disliked me...my heart sank.

"S-sorry..." I said quickly, trying to cover up the genuine fondness I felt for the alien. Could he tell that I like him more than a friend?

Zim looked up at me and stopped rubbing my back. When I glanced at him, he looked kind of confused. I wish I knew what was going on in that head of his. Would it hurt to know his thoughts or would they heal my pain somehow?

"Why are you apologizing?" Zim asked and suddenly, I turned my head to the other side. _Shit! Shit! Why am I crying _now!_ Stop! _ I screamed in my head. I felt that uncomfortable tinkling in my nose that you got when you were about to cry. I tried to avoid the sniffling that accompanied the shedding of tears. I wiped away the tears that had already made their way down my cheek ans I took deep breaths because that always helped me from balling my eyes out.

I felt Zim's hand on my shoulder. "Dib...? Is there a problem?" he asked, a bit concerned. I finished with the last of my fallen tears and took another deep breath and faced Zim, with a smile.

"Nope, no problem here." I said as happy as I could.

Zim looked at me for a minute, like he was searching for something. I managed to cover up the fact that I had just cried and I didn't want Zim finding out I did.

"Are you...lying to Zim?" he said slyly, as if it would make me confess but I needed to keep my pride. I had a right to keep things from the alien...it was better for the both of us...Zim more than me though.

"What's there to lie about?" I laughed half-heartedly. I wasn't really _lying_, just not telling him something...yeah.

Zim looked at me suspiciously. "I just thought that...nevermind." he said, quickly interrupted himself with a shake of his head. I'm glad he decided to just drop it.

Zim turned to the side, looking for Gir. Gir was sleeping soundlessly on the hard metallic floor. I was surprised he wasn't flipping out for no reason but I was thankful for it.

Me and Zim sat there in the little space the chair provided and Zim was idly skimming through things on the touch screen and I decided to actually look at the voot cruiser. I was too hyped for star glazing that I didn't pay much attention to the alien machinery.

I'd been in Zim's voot cruiser before and I'd also had Tak's old ship but this one was a little different. There seemed to be more room. The interior design was different as well, from what I remember; this one was more intricate and advanced. New almost.

"Zim, did you design this voot cruiser yourself? it's different than the last time I've been in here." Another thing I noticed about this voot cruiser that was quite significant was the touch screen monitor. The last one had tons of buttons.

"You haven't been in my voot cruiser in a _really _long time...since that stupid Tak incident. But I will say that it is new. You like?" He tilted his head to the side and smirked.

I looked around more. "Yeah..I mean...there's a lot more space in there than last time."

"Mmm, the seat can even adjust into a bed." he said in a seductive voice. I didn't know Zim could convey such a tone! My eyes went wide and my face was undoubtedly red with embarrassment. Of course I knew Zim was joking but hearing Zim's suggestive voice turned me on a little.

"What are you implying, alien?" I gave him a dirty but playful look. I wondered in the back of my head if Zim was at all aroused by the thought of doing it in space. What a stupid thought I told myself.

"Zim is implying that you can sleep if you are tired, Dib-worm." he said pressing some buttons. A little beep was heard and the seat began to vibrate. I jumped at the sudden movements as Zim simply got off the seat. We still had to crouch a bit since the voot cruiser wasn't as tall as it was wide. I watched as the chair transformed into a miniature couch. It reminded me of a bunk bed and how the bottom half could adjust into a little couch. But I noticed something and I gave the bed/couch a confused look. Zim saw my look and asked "Something wrong Dib-thing?"

"Uh, well...it's more of a couch than a bed..." I pondered how the hell I was supposed to lay on it without taking up all the room. Zim had to sit too.

"The cruiser is designed for one traveller. On long trips the pilot can put the cruiser on auto pilot and take a rest." He looked at me. "Irkens don't sleep for many hours such as humans but we get bored in space so naps are the best way to pass the time..." he told me. For some reason I envied Irkens for not needing vast amounts of sleep. I love sleeping but I tend to get sleepy at the worst times. Like when I should be doing homework or something important.

"Oh...so what about when there are two passengers?" I asked. Zim went to sit back down and looked to the screen.

"We can improvise." he said. I looked at him before sitting down again and Zim continued to talk. "There's more room but you have a few options..." he looked at me. "You can curl up into a ball...or lay your smelly human legs over mine..." I flinched a little at the last option. I think Zim liked it when he embarrassed me cause then he suggested something very more embarrassing.

"Or...you could always lay your giant head on Zim's lap." he said as he leaned back to point out the 'empty' space above his lap. "It's your choice, earth-child." I stared at that lap...very tempting. I gulped.

"I-I won't really need to sleep...right? I mean, aren't we going home soon..." I looked up at Zim with a nervous smile but Zim didn't return the smile, he stared at me then turned his head to the monitor. Did I insult him?

"It won't be for a while till we land..." he almost whispered.

"Oh..." I wanted to ask more but I couldn't bring myself to do it, it seemed to bug Zim and I didn't know why but I went against it, for now. I looked into the stars again, I didn't mind staying in space for a while longer. I looked back at Zim and was surprised to find him staring back.

"What?" I asked. It was a little weird seeing the back of the voot cruiser now. Before the seat was in a chair formation so I couldn't see the back.

"If you ever need to...you know...dispose of your disgusting human waste...you'll have to do it...outside." Zim told me this with caution.

I almost feel off the couch. "_WHAT!" _I yelled. I could hear Gir stirring in the background, please don't tell me I woke him up. Zim seemed a little pissed at my outburst because I saw his antennae go flat against his head.

"Why are you yelling, human!" He hissed.

"I don't want to use the washroom in space!" I screeched. "That's insane! And very, very, very gross!"

"Well it's your fault for having to do such things." Zim said in his snooty tone of voice. It was the voice he used when he wanted to emphasize how superior his race was compared to mine. I hate when he did that.

"Cause I have total control over the nature of my kind." I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms and practically slammed my back against the couch. I was not impressed.

"No. You're just unlucky." said theoh so amazing alien I saw as a friend for some fucked up reason.

Before I could think, I blurted out my rage. "Yeah, well, fuck you too, Zim." I didn't know what the relevance of my response had to do with what Zim said but I said it anyways. The concept just irked me really bad, having to pee in such a beautiful place, area, atmosphere whatever you want to call it. I prayed to God I didn't have to do any of that while stuck in this ship. The thought made my entire body shiver in horror.

I heard Zim sigh heavily and continue to carry out the conversation. "If you need to 'go' just tell me...ok?"

I didn't say anything. It puzzled me. Why did Zim 'care' so much to make sure I told him I had to pee. I hoisted my knees to my chest and hugged them. I suddenly felt really bad for swearing at Zim...no matter how much I think he deserved it. I buried my face in my knees.

What was wrong with me?

After what felt like a good hour, I lifted my head because I heard noises in the back of the cruiser. I wanted to look but I kept my glaze forward in fear that my eyes might meet with Zim's.

I heard tiny _tink, tink, tink _noises going across the floor then there was the hiss of something, I assumed it was a door opening. Gir was up, that had to be it. I waited for the worst. Screaming, yelling, hyperness, the whole shebang of Gir.

"Gir!" I jumped a little at the yell from Zim. "What are you doing?" I looked at Zim from the corner of my eye and was relieved to found Zim's back twisted to the back of the ship.

There was some rummaging of stuff and then came Gir's response "Nothing." I laughed a little and Zim's antennae lowered a bit.

"Do not lie to your master, Gir." he said. I thought it was weird that Gir referred to Zim as his 'master' and how Zim referred himself to Gir as such as well.

"I just wanted a burrito." he said in a surprising low and casual voice. I tried to hide my laughter, Gir made Zim sound like a nagging mother.

"Then what is that in your arm?" Zim questioned. I finally looked behind the couch to saw Gir holding what seemed to be a book. Gir reads! I thought. Gir gave us a wide grin and made his way around my side of the couch. He stopped at my feet and gave me this cute look. I lowered my feet to the floor and Gir climbed onto my lap. I looked at Zim and Zim gave Gir is trademark look. I looked back down at Gir, he was harking down his burrito.

After many slobbering noises, spit flying everywhere, and at one point I swear the robot was going to choke and die, Gir finally spoke.

"Read meh a story!" he yelled waving the book in my face and my eyes went wide.

"Uhh..." I said while Zim laughed. I glared at him then looked at the book. It had a cow jumping over a taco. I sighed.

"Alright...I guess I could read this." I took the book from his hands and he lay against my stomach as I placed the book in front of us and opened it to the first page. I began to read.

After the book was done, Gir jumped up and down when the ending was that the cow ate the taco. Gir was so happy he began to cry, I just sat there and waited. Zim was getting really annoyed. Gir stopped and ran to the back again. I slumped in my seat. Zim looked just as bored as I did; he was slouching in his seat too.

Simultaneously, we looked at each other and I got this sudden urge to kiss Zim. Maybe it was because of that lingering feeling of guilt I had for yelling at him. Zim actually looked tired. How long have we been in space?

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"Yeah..." he looked forward and sighed. Why is Zim so...sad?

"Are you ok?" I asked cautiously, I never know how Zim would react to personal questions. I heard Gir going through more things in the back.

"Huh...uh yeah." he said. I wanted to slide my fingers along his cheek, I wanted to make Zim feel better but I didn't know how. There was an empty feeling in my stomach; A yearning in my heart. What had this alien done to me? Why did I feel this way, there had to be something about Zim that made me...want him.

"Are you tired Dib?" Zim asked, still facing forwards.

I watched him close his eyes.

"Kinda..." I said and I looked down at his lap and remembered the offer Zim gave me. The thought made me twice as tired.

Zim got up and pressed a few buttons on the monitor. I looked up to see a little passage on the roof open up and out flopped something...before I knew it I was covered in that something...

It was a blanket.

I ripped my way through the blanket and gave Zim a stunned look and the alien smirked. I looked at the blanket and began to feel it, it was soft and cool. I brought the sheet up to my shoulders.

"Go to sleep, Dib-thing." Zim said.

I looked at Zim for a moment, trying to read his expression. Gir come out of that little room thing at the back and sat on the floor again, while eating some candy. I glanced at Zim and he sat up and just like I did with Gir, Zim patted his lap. I eyes almost popped out of my head. Zim looked at me when I didn't move.

"There are no pillows." he stated.

"But I..." I stopped. I was going to say I wasn't tired but I really was...

I made several looks from Zim's lap to Zim's face, not sure what to do. Finally, I took a deep breath and scooted a little so I could place my head nicely onto Zim's lap.

It was a little awkward I must admit, very strange as well. Zim's actions towards me lately had me thinking twice about what he told me on our way to his base. _Remorse, mercy, sorrow...and definitely love;_ feelings that invaders didn't have. But wasn't it sorrow that I saw in Zim's eyes as he told me to sleep? Wasn't caring about someone a part of loving them? I didn't know...maybe it was just me making things up.

As I lay down on Zim's fairly cold lap and face the front, I suddenly feel three light talons slowly brush through my hair. I flinched a little then realized it was only Zim. It was nice having someone comb their hand through your hair. Zim could have been treating me like a dog for all I knew but I didn't care. My eyes fluttered shut and I slipped into a soundless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

My body was being jerked and something kept moving against my face. To keep my warm and comfy position, I began to hold the moving object still while muttering '_stop moving'_ into the squishy fabric. I felt the fleshy object clench and make a quick lunge forward with a grunt then I recognized it as Zim.

My eyes tried to open but I was being suffocated by...Zim's stomach! I grabbed and pulled at Zim's back. I was only half awake but everything around me was moving violently. Gir's historical screams became much louder as my senses were awakening. Suddenly I rolled onto the floor of the voot cruiser. It all happened so fast I couldn't react.

"Ah!" I uttered before hitting the cold floor.

Just as quickly as the first jolt of action from the ship, another move was yanking the ship to the right. I sled down the hard floor to have my ass in contact with the wall; it didn't help that the blanket was of a silky material.

I looked up where Zim was sitting, he was upside down since my head was against the floor. Zim was furiously fighting through whatever the hell it is that was causing such a commotion.

"_Zim! What the hell is going on!" _I had to yell over the rumbling sound that shook the entire voot cruiser and Gir.

"_I'll explain later!" _ Zim yelled back. He had a tight hold on the main touchscreen that now had semi-circles at the sides, like a steering wheel.

I held my stomach for all the vicious rattling and shaking of the cruiser was making me sick. I looked out the giant front window and my eyes went as wide as the giant rocks that were aiming themselves at the tiny ship we were in.

"_Are those asteroids!" _ I screamed this time. Zim just made another displeased grunt and turned to dodge the giant rock. Gir hung onto the back of the couch while his screaming just added to the terrible experience.

Apparently Zim didn't dodge the asteroid too well because there was a loud bang against the wall near me. It rocked us a bit and Zim hissed. I was going to be sick if we didn't stop soon. I made an attempt at climbing onto the couch but after I got to a certain height -which wasn't high- I dropped back down. The floor made me feel less nauseous, not by much though.

"_I'm going to be sick!" _screaming wasn't going to help either. I was terrified by this point. What if we died somehow? The asteroids could puncture a hole in the voot cruiser and instantly suck out all the air! _ I need__ed__ air!_

"_Hang in there! We're almost-" _Zim was interrupted by an abrupt hit against the ship. I heard Zim cry out in shock then a hard _thud_, soon followed by a cry of pain. The sound of Gir's yells were stopped by the sound of a metal mass hitting against metal. I wanted to see what happened but the cruiser was plummeting down out of control.

My forearms were heavily pressed against the mini wall that attached the couch to the floor. I was glued to the bottom of the couch as the voot cruiser flipped a couple times. That definitely didn't help my nausea.

About a minute later the voot cruiser settled and was still. No one move. My eyes were clenched shut so hard it almost hurt to open them again. I was afraid that if I moved, the ship would go crazy again.

I slowly moved my hand up to the surface of the couch and waited a bit until I lifted myself. I sat up but regretted it immediately. I held my stomach as vomit spewed out of my mouth and onto the blanket that was tangled with my legs. As if there was a plunger harshly pumping the inside of my stomach, I puked and my body began to shake uncontrollably. I didn't want to describe what the horrid mess looked like. I quickly turned my head away and plugged my nose. I didn't puke a lot, almost never and I bet Zim was going to _kill _me for this.

I bunched the fabric up in a ball, making sure the foul liquid stayed in the middle. I tossed the thing to the back corner. I heard Gir's tiny metal feet manoeuvre around the back of the cruiser.

"Gir?" I said in a faint voice. Then I saw Gir whip an arm over the top of the couch and pull himself up. The robot looked at me with those giant blue eyes. His eyes looked down onto the couch and there lay Zim, seemingly lifeless. I got onto my knees to get a better view of the alien's face and gasped as there was a gash on the left side of Zim's skull. It was leaking a fluid down his face; it was green and I assumed it was blood, Irken blood.

I panicked.

"Zim! ZIM!" I yelled as I made my way to the other end of the couch to look at Zim right-side up. I sat on the couch next to Zim's hip and took Zim's head in my hands to examine the cut up close. It looked deep...could Zim be unconscious right now! or...is he bleeding to death! There isn't _that _much blood I assured myself.

"Gir, get a cloth or something!" I commanded still looking at Zim. "And don't get the blanket!" I added quickly.

"You can't tell me what to do!" Girl yelled. I gave the idiotic robot a furious look.

"Do you want to help Zim or what!" I yelled back. He giggled and pulled a used napkin out of his head and thrust it in my face. I slapped his hand away.

"_Are you kidding me!" _I spat out. I looked back at Zim, more blood leaving the wound. I tugged off my trench coat and balled it in my hands like I did the blanket and lightly pressed it against Zim's bloody head. Gir watched in what seemed to be amazement since he made an 'ooooh' noise.

I held my coat there for a bit then damped the trail of green blood. Once I did that I rearranged the fabric for a fresh side and pressed it against Zim's cut again.

My heart was racing as I placed my forehead on Zim's. I didn't know why I did that but it was comforting, for me anyways. I could feel Zim breathing so I was relieved.

"Is master ok?" Gir asked in a child-like voice.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah."

We stayed like that for quite some time. I could honestly say that time stood still then. There was no indication of analog or digital time in space. Gir was perched on top of the couch looking ahead, the voot cruiser's jets weren't operating and me and Zim lying here, mouth inches away from each other. Then a sound pierced the silence. A groan; from Zim.

I was going to remove my forehead from Zim but something stopped me. Zim's hand somehow found the back of my head before I lifted it out of his reach. My wide honey eyes stared into half-closed magenta ones.

"Zim...?" I whispered. There was no need to talk loud since we were so damn close.

"You were so close to Zim...and yet you didn't make a move." Zim whispered back.

Before I could process what Zim said, Gir screamed "Hi master!"

Zim groaned for the 100th time and removed his hand from my head and we both sat up. He grumbled a hi back and Gir was content with that. I kept my hand on my jacket against Zim's head.

"W-what do you mean by that?" I asked once Zim was looking at me again.

"Are you that dumb human?" Zim let a weak moan pass his lips and he placed his hand on mine that was holding the coat. "you could have easily slipped a smooch on Zim back here. " he said smirking as he looked down at the couch.

Words got caught in my throat. Did Zim _want_ me to kiss him! What made absolutely no sense.

"Your head is gushing blood and you think I'd take advantage of you, or anyone for that matter!" I said in an offended voice. I probably seemed mad to Zim and maybe I was. How could that alien tell me that Irken invaders can't love and then go and ask me why I never kissed him while he was knocked out!

"Take advantage? That's a little much don't you think?" Zim said, gaving me his trademark look. One eye wide, one half closed. I looked down, a little embarrassed.

"Well...yeah, I guess. But we're friends...friends don't...kiss." I told him. Shouldn't he know that?

"Oh? They don't?" Zim said in a bit of confusion.

I looked up at Zim to see a genuine confused look on his face. He really didn't know that! "No!" I said and laughed a bit to shake off the awkwardness I was feeling. "I mean...they can...but we aren't that kind of friendship." I gave him a nervous grin. I didn't want Zim to continue this conversation so I changed the subject. "So uh, about your head..."

Zim looked at me intensely as if to say 'you're hiding something' but he let it go.

"My head is fine..." He squeezed my hand and I slipped it out. "Is this your jacket thing, Dib?" he asked as he claimed it.

"Yeah...I didn't know what else to use." I shrugged my shoulders.

Zim didn't say anything for a bit so again came that silence.

"_What is that smell!" _Zim randomly yelled. I looked at the alien as if he was insane. I sniffed the air a little. I felt my stomach turn. _The blanket._

"Uh...yeah...remember when I said I was going to get sick...?"

Zim whipped his head at me, shocked. "Did you...?" I nodded shamefully and pointed to the crumpled blanket in the corner just as shamefully.

Zim reluctantly followed my finger. "You induced your repulsive stomach dumpings of dookey on _MY _superior blanket!" he yelled.

"What was I supposed to do! Once you need to vomit, you have no choice but to vomit!" I said throwing my hands in the air.

Zim looked back me and yelled "Never say that word around Zim! It's disgusting!" That irritated me for some reason.

"Oh come on, you've thrown up before so don't give me shit for doing it too!" there I go, swearing again.

"Urgh, I can't _breathe _in there, we must dispose of it! Now!" No one budged. I know I have to do it because Zim was hurt and I didn't want him to do anything right now.

"How do I get rid of it then?" I finally asked, slowly getting up off the couch and Zim sighed.

"Gir, open the fuel chamber..." Zim said and Gir saluted Zim with red eyes and hopped off the couch.

Zim was sitting with his feet on the floor and staring out in space, still holding the jacket. He seemed to notice something.

"Hey..." he said in recognition. "We're not moving..."

I face palmed. "Way to state the obvious Zim." I think I sounded pissed but Zim was sort of pissing me off with all his mixed messages. And I wanted to go home...

I thought Zim would glare at me for my attitude or yell at me like usual but he didn't. Instead he gave me a sort of hopeless look, that's how I interpreted it anyways. It was definitely a sad look since it made me feel like a jerk a little.

"DOOONE!" Gir screamed unnecessarily, breaking the moment me and Zim was having. I was a little grateful for Gir's interruption and I averted my eyes and headed towards Gir. My eyes went a little wide as there was now a hole in the floor, followed by a tube leading straight down into darkness...fuel chamber I thought.

"We're burning it..." I asked no one in particular. That can't be good for the ship...

"No...just putting it in there to get rid of it..." Zim mumbled. I had to strain my ears to hear him. Was Zim upset? Why is he upset? Was it my attitude or did he really want a kiss? Just thinking about touching those jade lips with my own sent chills up my spine.

In order to distract myself I walked to the blanket and carefully made away with it. After I pushed it into the hole I looked at Gir who stared back. He burst into tears in memory of the poor blanket.

I sat back down beside Zim and I made sure I sat as close as possible to him. He was getting the voot cruiser running again I suppose since he was playing around with the touchscreen. The machine was humming and I could hear gears turning. I looked at Zim, who was engrossed in the screen, and the alien was still holding my jacket to his head. I didn't know why I found it amusing. I slightly regretted not kissing Zim but was that only because he seemed upset? Suddenly I did something beyond my comprehension.

"Why is it that very time your sad or upset I want to kiss you?" The second I finished saying that, my hands shot up to my mouth as if it would fix the problem I had just created for myself. I felt my face get extremely hot. I wasn't supposed to say that...it slipped out! I ruined everything I tried so hard to protect and hide.

Zim looked at me, his face a mix of shock and confusion. "What?" he said in a rather soft voice. I froze with my hands still over my mouth.

"Nothing!" I said as my hands muttered my response.

"You said you wanted to kiss Zim." Zim said leaning in as I leaned back, shaking my head. I was far from embarrassed at this point.

"Don't shake your head at me! You did!" Zim yelled at me and I couldn't tell if Zim was angry or excited.

"So what if I did." I said through my hands, giving Zim a sort of daring look.

Zim gave me a stern look and said "then do it." he kept his eyes locked on mine and my arms dropped from my mouth to the couch. My mind was blank. I wasn't even trying to process what Zim just said. It was quite clear to me that Zim wants me to kiss him.

I lifted my hand to place it over the hand Zim used to hold the jacket in place and Zim didn't flinch. I leaned forward and got really close to those alien lips but made no contact. I could feel Zim's breath against my lips and his eye lids slipped half shut and I smirked a little. That was all the evidence I added. To know I had some effect on Zim as he did me. Now to make my finishing blow...

"We should take care of your injury."

Changing the subject.

And with that I got up and asked Gir to show me where the first aid kit was. Gir walk to the side of the wall and pointed to a drawer like compartment. I looked back at Zim to see his eyes wide and the skin on his face was five shades darker. The alien looked speechless.

I walked over to the cabinet Gir referred to and opened it to find some weird tube, which I assumed was some sort of Irken ointment, and a box of really childish looking Band-Aids. I took out the items I needed and made my way back to Zim, who seemed to be fuming. I gave him my biggest grin and sat down where I was before. I then poured the objects onto the space between us. There wasn't much of a space so most of it went on my leg.

"Zim did not ask for you to treat his injuries, human-filth monkey." Zim finally said. He called me longer names when he was mad or unimpressed, like he was now.

"I know." I said unscrewing the cap of the tube I brought. "But I can't kiss you while you're bleeding out of your head." I said casually.

"_Why not!_" Zim sounded like he was yelling and whining at the same time as he raised his free arm in the air out of frustration. It was adorable to see him act like that. He did it a lot when I wouldn't share my candy with him.

I looked at him and smiled. "Because, I said so." I got a '_hmph_' for a response and for some reason the sound was heartwarming. I squeezed the tube a little to examine the gel that oozed out when Zim spoke again.

"Will Zim get one after." he asked looking away from me as I looked from the clear pink gel to him.

"You're not going to let this go are you?" I asked, smirking a little. I'm not sure why I was happy that Zim was still stressing about my refusal to kiss him.

Zim looked at me again. "Let it go? You're the one who is too scared to make lip contact with Zim!" he argued.

"Scared? I'm not scared!" I argued back. I wasn't sure if I actually was or not but being scared to kiss Zim just didn't seem like the reason. I pulled down his arm to take a look at the cut on Zim's head. Zim resisted a little but let me see.

"Then why?" he asked while I examined his head. I was leaning over him a little.

"I already told you why..." I looked down at the tube I had in my hand and asked Zim "Is this what I use?"

Zim looked at the item. "Wasn't there another tube in there?" I thought for a moment.

"No." I said and Zim cringed. "What?" I said.

"This is the painful one..."

"It's also the only one to use..."

"But it's the painful one!"

"I have to apply something Zim!"

"Not this one!"

"There is no other one!"

We stared at each other, both of us holding onto the 'painful' ointment. We sighed at the same time while I took the jacket and wiped the remaining blood from Zim's face. I was about to ask if it really was his blood but that would have been a stupid thing to ask.

Finally I said "I'll just put a Band-Aid on, ok?" Zim nodded. I went for the box of Band-Aids and opened it. As soon as it was opened, Zim snatched the box from my hands.

"Hey!" I said more in shock then anger.

"I wanna pick the Band-Aid." he said rummaging through the box. He had his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, like he was concentrating really hard on the perfect Band-Aid. Again he was being adorable.

Once the Band-Aid was picked, by Zim, he handed it to me. I took it from his hand and opened it. It was yellow. The same honey yellow as...my eyes. I looked at Zim and he looked at me back, there was no expression on his face.

"What?" he asked.

"...nothing." I didn't want to dwell on it with him, he probably didn't realize the colour was close to my eye colour. I placed the Band-Aid on Zim's wound and it was done. I smiled at my finished work and Zim lifted his hand to feel the new object on his head. He rubbed it a little then looked at me.

"I suppose I owe you a thank you." I didn't expect the offer but took it anyways.

"Sure I guess. It's no big deal." I shrugged. Then my cheeks turned red at what I said next.

"Do I still owe you a kiss?"


	4. Chapter 4

My heart was racing as Zim looked into my eyes. Hazel met magenta. Only I saw those endless pools of magenta and it made the moment so much more meaningful to me. Made me feel...special. The way we glazed at one another set the mood; the atmosphere for kissing. I was still a little confused of the idea of Zim wanting to kiss me. But I pray to God that Zim wanted to because he felt the same way I did. At this moment I couldn't deny it. I loved Zim to some degree.

"Yes." The Irken responded to my previous question. That was my cue, time to lean in. And I did, just like last time. Zim sat up straight and still as if he was waiting for something he truly deserved. I was afraid Gir would make an unexpected appearance or scream randomly. But no, everything was perfect.

Our lips connected.

Zim's lips were chilly and I couldn't believe it. I wanted to kiss the alien that much harder just to warm up those cool jade lips. I lingered there and Zim stayed in place. For some reason I felt like Zim didn't want me to pull away, just by the way he kept my lips locked with mine. They screamed _don't let go_. But much to my displeasure, I had to.

When I pulled away I flattered my eyes half open, I saw Zim doing the same. Once again we stared at each other, my eyes solid and honey brown and Zim's mysterious and had an almost raspberry tinge to them.

I watched as Zim slowly brushed his fingertips on his lips. His alien face filled with curiosity. I looked at him, questioning his bizarre reaction and Zim looked at me like I was some holy figure.

"It tingles." Zim said in a soft voice. I smirked.

"Is it a good tingle?" I asked.

"A very good tingle." He smiled and I smiled back.

I figured now was the best time to get my feelings across to Zim. The kiss was not only a tease but a simmer of hope. I was too scared to say anything before, I still am now, but I've faced more terrifying ordeals then this! I needed to man up or something. So I took a deep breath.

"Um, Zim, Can I ask you something?" I said in a shy voice instead of that confident voice I was looking for.

"Sure, Dib." he replied casually.

"Would you...um like to do more of that?" I tried to keep my eyes on Zim but they kept averting elsewhere.

"So much more~!" Zim cooed with a wide grin.

"R-Really!" I said in utter shock. My heart was doing cartwheels as I wore a goofy grin. Suddenly I felt thin arms wrap around my neck and Zim whispered in my ear.

"It's about time you confessed to Zim."

My face went red. Zim knew? For how long? Was it obvious?

"C-confessed? I simply asked if you wanted to...kiss more." I made a nervous laugh.

"Who are you trying to convince, Dib-human?" Zim said almost seductively. It was just a kiss, I mean no need to get all seductive on me Zim! It was a little hard to breath with Zim practically all over me.

"Zim...why didn't you say anything before...if you knew." I asked in a low voice trying to cover up my sudden arousal. Zim backed away and looked at me.

"Urm...I kind of figured you would first." he looked away blushing. It was quite the sight and I loved seeing Zim like this.

I laughed. "Oh Zim...it's not like you to hide things like that. Do you feel the same...about me?" I lowered my head but made sure to keep my eyes on Zim. It was a lot easier now.

Zim looked at me. It was funny because he lowered his head too and still kept my glaze. Were we ashamed to admit that we were hiding our feelings from each other?

"Zim isn't sure what he feels...it's a nice...but not nice feeling." He tried to explain.

I could see the confusion on the alien's face. I gave Zim a genuine smile and cupped his left cheek with my hand. He was startled by the action but locked eyes with me. I couldn't believe all of this was happening! Can I really call it a dream come true?

"That's ok, I feel the same." I paused. "I really like you Zim." Finally! I said it, it wasn't as difficult as I imagined and I felt good after I said it. But I felt amazing when Zim replied.

"I like you too, Dib." He said, giving me a smile. I hugged Zim again and this time Zim hugged back with a sigh. Was it a sigh in relief or bliss? I bet it was both. We separated; both of us had that look of a heavy burden being lifted on our faces.

"Wow, I never thought this could actually happen." I said sheepishly, still a little nervous about Zim feeling the same about me; happy nonetheless.

"I hoped it would." Zim replied sheepishly as well. That was the best answer I could have received, I almost cried those tears of joy again. Almost.

Zim told me that he dozed off when the ship ran through the asteroid belt. I laughed, not really at the incident but the fact that we looked like a couple before we officially became one. Me sleeping on Zim's lap and Zim slumped at the side a little, sleeping as well. The thought made me all warm inside.

Right off the bat of our new relationship, Zim got comfortable in my lap. He was playing with the main menu thing again and I sat behind him with my legs bent by his sides. When he was done he'd lay his back against my stomach, the connection made my stomach turn in a great way. Gir was drinking some giant ass drink beside us. I was kind of bored, happy as hell, but I wanted to talk to Zim more. And I wondered about the whole "Invaders don't love" thing Zim told me.

I started off with a fairly simple question. "So...do you know much about boyfriends and all that stuff?"

Zim tilted his head up a little and made a thoughtful noise in his throat. " I vaguely read about them..." he said.

"I don't know much either, but I'm supposing it'll come natural to me, being the human and all."

Then Zim turned to look at me, giving me a disapproving look. I stared at him, not sure what I said wrong.

"Are you implying that just because you're a smelly human, that you are better at being a boyfriend than Zim!" he said in offence. Figures Zim would make our new relationship a competition. He did it when we became friends too; claiming that he will make the better friend to me than I will to him. I didn't think he knew the deeper meaning to that, which made me laugh.

"Well, not entirely...I mean you did say that invaders don't really...you know...feel and stuff..." I tried to avoid the "L" word during our first hours of being a couple. But I regretted saying that because Zim gave me this depressed look and turned forwards.

I tried to take back what I said immediately, "Uh but I know you'll be a good boyfriend either way! Not like that really-" Then Zim cut me off.

"It's fine, Dib." he said solemnly and I began to worry. Did I really insult him! I asked myself. "I think...I should tell you something." he said shortly after.

I nodded but realized Zim was facing away from me. "Ok." I said.

He took a deep breath then thought for a minute. The words were simple but did it ever make a statement.

"I'm a defect."

I just looked at the back of Zim's head, not sure were the sudden insult upon him came from. I was about to ask but it was like he read my mind.

"But before you say anything, I'll explain what I mean." I felt a little depressed by the fact that Zim didn't want to look at me when he talked.

"In the Irken elite, it was forbidden to poses any type of emotion besides loyalty to our mighty Tallests, dedication to our missions and the need to cause destruction upon other species. I had them all, all three, but I, unlike every other Irken soldier, had more. Making me a defect. We were never taught how to suppress these foreign feelings because we weren't even supposed to have them in the first place. But my dream was to be an invader so I had to learn how to suppress them myself. It was very difficult at first but I got used to it...once I was finally assigned my planet I was set, everything was going according to plan." He paused and I wanted to say something but waited for Zim to finish.

"I came to earth as you know...met you...we hated each other and I began to realize that I hated you most because you were allowed to show emotion freely and whenever you wanted. I wasn't, I felt that if I did, it would make me a failure and I suffered too much to become a failure. Of course it didn't help when you foiled all my plans...but I continued to brush it off. Once high school came and grade 9 passed, those emotions rose to the surface like a seal had broken and I was once again infected by them. I couldn't seal them back up like I did on Irk because every individual around me had them, on Irk, it was the opposite. I grew tired of trying to re-seal my emotions near the end of grade 10 and that's when I told you I wanted a break, I wasn't lying about that Dib." When Zim addressed my name I perked up a little, I didn't know why but I made a 'Mmm' sound to let him know I was listening. He continued once again.

"I thought that if I experienced enough of these emotions that I would get sick of them and never feel them again..." he sighed and I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and pulled him back to lay on my stomach again. I was hoping it would relax him and it seemed to work as he adjusted to the position.

"But boy was I wrong. Or maybe I just picked the worst person to exercise my feelings with...you made me feel like...these emotions were good...and they were when I felt them around you. Suddenly I didn't want to let them go...I wanted to keep them." Zim sighed again, but it was that relief/blissful sigh.

I didn't know what to say, I was honestly speechless. I had no idea I made Zim feel that way or that he felt actual feelings, not in the slightest. I planted a kiss on Zim's cheek and he made the cutest giggling noise.

"I'm glad to hear that, Zim." I told him. I really didn't want to ruin the fluffy little moment we had but I needed to know one more thing...

"If you felt like that...then why did you tell me that invaders didn't have feelings? You know, that shot all hope I had for telling you my feelings." I said, resting my chin on Zim's petite shoulder.

I didn't expect Zim to bust out laughing at my comment so it hurt a little. After he was done laughing, he apologized and explained himself.

"Actually Dib...that was Zim's failed attempt at asking you out..." he laughed sheepishly now. My eyes went wide.

"How do you figure!" I said in complete shock, I really didn't understand how telling me I had no chance with him was equivalent to asking me out.

"Eh, well, I asked you about dating and stuff...and uh that didn't work out since you started acting indifferent to it...so I felt a little...inferior..." he went quite.

I couldn't believe it...Zim was going to ask me out so long ago and I blew it without even knowing of it. I felt like smashing my head against the metal walls of the cruiser. I actually shot down Zim's hopes before he shot down mine but I couldn't had possible known Zim motives with the knowledge I had about him.

"Zim, I had no idea...I didn't want to say I wanted to date girls cause...well, I liked you so..." I tried to explain.

"It's fine...I over-reacted when I told you that invaders had no feelings...I don't like feeling inferior so I started to act superior of course." Zim admitted.

I didn't even have to see Zim's face to know he was grinning at that. He loved anything to do with the word 'superior'. I was really glad we had this conversation; it made us that much closer. Plus Zim's weird behaviour made a lot of sense now. I nuzzled my head into the croak of Zim's neck and Zim gentle placed his hands over mine and we lay there in peace. Gir just finishing his suck monkey.

The dreadful moment has come. I was _really _hoping we would be home before this situation but according to Zim we won't be home for a while. I wondered why it was taking so long to get back to earth but there were more important issues at hand like urination.

"Um...Zim?"

The alien was still in my lap when he turned to look at me. It was going to be really embarrassing to ask this.

"Uh...I have to you know...go." I said quietly, remembering how I told Zim to fuck off last time we talked about this.

Zim seemed to almost leap out of my lap as his face grew darker and he said 'oh'. I just looked to the side; my face also grew darker than usual. Zim got up and headed to the back of the voot cruiser. I hung my legs off the side of the couch and stared at Zim. To be more precise, I was staring at Zim's butt. So round and small...it popped out of those super tight pants. Oh dear God I have to look away or urination wouldn't be my only problem. When did I become _physically_ attracted to Zim? I asked myself.

Zim was in that small door Gir used a lot to get food and stuff. Not all of the small Irken could fit, therefore he had to bend over and put his upper half inside while I was being 'tortured' by the bottom half.

"Whatcha' lookin' at?" Gir yelled, as usual, causing me to jump in my seat.

"_N-Nothing!"_ I sounded so guilty. Gir just titled his head then he did something _very_ unexpected, and this is Gir we're talking about! He went up to Zim and..._smack!_ Again, I jumped.

"_OW__!_" Zim yelped and ripped his body out of the door frame to rub the now sore butt cheek Gir had slapped. "_ GIR! WHAT THE HEL!" _Zim yelled at his stupid robot, who giggled in his hands. Zim didn't look very impressed, not at all. I couldn't help but laugh a little and that got me the same stare as Gir.

"And you find this funny, Dib-filth?" Zim asked almost innocently.

I had my hand in front of my mouth. "A little..."

Zim made _hmph_. "Well, perhaps Zim should just let you piss your pants then. I would find thatvery funny myself."

I stopped laughing and began whining. "Aww, come on Zim. You know I don't mean any harm." I crawled towards Zim, who crossed his arms and made an angry pout face. To be honest, this isn't much different than how we acted when we were friends. I stopped next to him thinking why was I getting in shit for something I didn't even do?

I kissed Zim on the forehead to try and make it all better.

"He didn't hit me on the forehead Dib." Zim said courtly. I looked at him then got what he meant.

"Oh God, Zim. I'm not kissing your ass, dirty alien." I narrowed my eyes at him. Zim began to push me away and I wasn't sure why but I decided that the least I could do was rub it. Zim gasped as I quickly slid my hand to the left side of Zim's bottom and began to rub. It was so soft and tender; I swear I was drooling.

"How about this?" I asked in a soft voice.

Zim draped his arms over my back and nuzzled my neck while making 'Mmm" sounds in his throat. I could do that all day...or night, it's impossible to tell in space, but I really had to pee.

I slowed down. "Will you let me pee now?"

Zim nodded and stretched his arm into the door and pulled out...plastic cups. I completely stopped rubbing and my jaw dropped dramatically.

"Nooo..." I whispered, mostly to the cups.

Zim gave me a nervous smile. "Eh...yeah..." was all he could say.

I looked at the cups for a long time. Zim began to open the package they were in and I had the slightest urge to utter an 'I hate you' at Zim but didn't want to risk anything. Then a plastic cup of doom was shoved in my view.

"Are you sure there's nothing _else_ to..." I pleaded. Zim shook his head and I made the most exaggerated sigh.

"What will I do with it after..." I asked reluctantly.

Zim turned around and pointed to a little circle in the walls of the ship. "You'll dump it in there." he turned back to me and wore a worried expression. My face was pale. Very pale.

"Dib? It's...not that bad." he tried to cheer me up but then I thought of something.

"Can't I just...go...into the circle thing." I said staring at it. Zim stared at me then looked to the compartment thoughtfully.

"I guess so." He looked back at me. "But if you miss-" I cut him off with a cheerful glee.

"I won't!" and with that I got up and eyed the circle. Zim got up behind me and showed me how it opened. There was a tube bending down and I looked to my side to see that Zim was still there.

"Well..?" I said hinting for him to leave but he didn't catch the hint.

"Well? Go." He commanded, not in a mean way but he seemed to_ want _to stay.

"I can't with you watching me, Zim!"

"I wanna see!" Zim whined a bit and my face was burning like acid.

"_See wha__t!_" I yelled. Zim was a bit startled and I felt a little bad but seriously, did he not know of privacy? Just because we're dating doesn't mean he should watch me pee.

"Fine, Fine. No need to get all defensive, Dib-baby." and he head back to the couch. I simply grumbled not wanting to say anything, just wanting to pee. I liked the new nick name, it would have sounded sexy if Zim wasn't using it as an insult.

After I was done, I was in my cheery mood again, in fact, I was cheerier. I went back to Zim and saw that he was laying down, fatal position. I asked if he was ok and he said yeah. When I sat down at the end of the couch, Zim put his legs over mine and slid down so my thigh made contact with that nice little bum of his. I looked at him and he had that curious look on his face.

"Why couldn't Zim watch?" he said, referring to me peeing. My face went red again.

"Because...we may be together now but that doesn't mean we still can't have our own privacy."

Zim gave me a funny look. "What?" I said.

"It's just weird." that's all he was going to say?

"How!"

He looked down at me. "On Irk, couples don't have their own 'privacy'." he looked a little mad. Were we fighting already!

"Oh...well, I didn't know that. Plus I prefer if you didn't watch me pee...I'm not used to that...at all." I looked at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs.

"You could get used to it." I looked at Zim, he was serious.

"Not really."

"Are you ashamed of your human reproductive organ? I heard small ones are undesirable." he said casually and I almost gagged.

"_Zim!_ Why would you say that?"

he just sighed and sat up on his elbows, rolling his alien eyes. "I'm just saying! If you're not happy with your 'size' then I don't care." he looked right at me as if he was trying to tell me something. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"What are you implying?" I asked wearily.

Zim smirked and went right up to my tomato coloured face. "I'm going to see 'it' sooner or later." he licked my burning hot cheek. I could faint right about now. But I collected myself. I guess I'm going to have to discuss the topic of 'sex' to Zim. He obviously knows about it but did he know the meaning of it? That deep connection it brings to people who engage in it?

"How much do you know about sex...?"

**Ohhh, the birds and the bees~**


	5. Chapter 5

Zim lay back down after my question. He put his hands behind his head casually; we might as well be discussing the weather, which isn't even apparent outside. I decided if Zim was going to be casual about sex, then I will be too. It's just sex... I felt my face get two shades darker.

"Enough." he replied looking up at the ceiling. " I know that you have a organ that sticks out between your legs that produces little human worm-baby juice. Then you insert it into the female unit who carries the revolting worm for whatever months."

"Nine." I said. Zim waved a dismissive hand at me.

"Yeah, yeah." he said. There were a few details missing but the alien got the basic idea. I was a little surprised that Zim knew about that stuff. Living on earth for 5 and a half years could do that to an alien I suppose.

"Impressive Zim...but that's for straight couples." it was funny because I just realized that dating Zim pretty much made me gay. A whole new type of gay. The 'out-of-this-world' gay.

Zim prompted himself on his elbows again. "I know that, Dib-beast. Neither of us have female genitalia so...our only option would be anal sex, right Dib?" Zim gave me a wicked grin. I narrowed my eyes.

"There's...other options too." I assured the green boy. Zim actually looked surprised if not interested as well.

"Like what?" Zim said sitting up again, too close to my face.

I swallowed my pride. "Oral..." How did I let things get here!

Zim laughed. "That's not sex!"

"Is too!" I argued.

"It's foreplay, you stinky human." he said sticking his tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes.

"I know that, space boy. But it's still classified as engaging in sexual activities." I stuck my tongue back at Zim. All of a sudden, I felt a ridged and thin appendage wrap around my tongue and pull me into a kiss.

After I realized the long appendage was Zim's tongue, he began pumping it against mine. I froze for about a minute, trying to collect myself, then my hands made their way to Zim's hips to pull him into my lap. Zim's arms locked in place around my neck; making sure I wouldn't move. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and began to explore as Zim's three fingered hand grabbed hold of my hair, running his long fingers through it, he then moaned in my mouth. I gently ran my fingertips up and down Zim's sides, his skin was so smooth. Our tongues caressing each other and made me moan as I felt subtle indents around Zim's tongue rub against mine.

Things got really heated when Zim firmly planted his hand against my cheeks and pushed his mouth harder over mine, roughly moving his tongue over and under mine. I was stunned by the sudden harshness from the tiny Irken. He pulled back a little, giving me some air before pushing back just as hard; thrusting his tongue back inside my mouth, practically drinking me. I seriously couldn't keep up with the way Zim's tongue moved expertly all around my mouth. I was literally breathless. Our bodies were together as Zim pushed himself onto me. Without my hands as support we'd be off the couch in a matter of seconds since there were no sides.

Zim seemed to have gotten bored of making out and switched to trailing light kisses down my jawline. Finally I could breathe in full intakes. The pressure against my body eased off as Zim slowly licked down my neck and I cranked my head to the side to give him more access. A tiny moan slipped through my lips. Being able to moan like this in front of Zim was like a dream.

Our making out ended and to be frank I have no idea how it started. Zim lay his delicate head on my shoulder as he panted; I was panting too while rubbing Zim's back. Zim's arms hang loosely beside my hips. We didn't say anything...except my stomach had something to announce.

"Really?" asked Zim.

"I haven't eaten in like forever..." I whined, Zim just nuzzled his head further into my chest. It would of felt a lot nicer if the alien wasn't so damn cold.

"Why do you always feel so cold?" I finally got to ask.

Zim shrugged. "The same reason human are always warm?" he tried to answer.

"Your average body temperature is low compared to ours then." I said, grinned.

"I suppose so...have anything in mind for what to eat?"

"What do you have?"

"A whole bunch of junk food." now Zim was grinning.

"I should have known." I chuckled and pressed my lips against Zim's which he was completely ok with. I licked the bottom of Zim's lip, wanting access to that moist cavern again and of course Zim let me in. This kiss wasn't as long and I backed away for air but Zim whined for more. But I wanted food.

Suddenly I was dying of hunger; if I waited another second then I would surely die. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a couple drinks here and there to tie me over but now the more I thought the less energy I possessed. I looked down to see that Zim had his legs straddling me.

"Are you gonna keep me between your legs forever Zim?" I asked sarcastically.

Zim gave me a sly smile as he wiggled against that forbidden spot. I eyes popped out of my head.

"_Zim!_" I squealed. The last thing I needed was a hard on. Zim chuckled and removed himself and left the couch. I sat there for a minute trying to calm myself down. Since Zim wanted to tease me like that I got my pay back by making him get all the food. I plopped myself on the couch and laid there.

"What the hell do you want? he asked me. I mumbled an 'everything' and heard some loud bang but made no move of seeing what it was. I was off in dreamland, replaying mine and Zim's random make out session. Damn, that alien wanted me. I grinned wickedly against the couch.

I felt a ton-and I mean a _ton_- of things falling on my back and legs. I shifted slightly to found chip bags, candy, and whatever portable junk you can munch on falling like a waterfall on top of me. I looked up shocked to see Zim with a manic face on and it scared the crap out of me. He had a giant black suit case over his head as the products flooded out and all over me, the couch and now the floor. I heard Gir laughing hysterically in the background, Zim following shortly after. These two had one thing in common; they were nuts over junk food.

I fell asleep.

I didn't know for how long but I passed out due to all that junk food I ate. I never ate so much food all at once in my entire life! For once in my life I felt fat.

While I was lying down, full beyond belief, I remember watching Zim through heavy eyelids. He was pushing passed wrappers that flew carelessly into the air and he squeezed his little frame between me and the couch. He dragged his arm over my torso and used my chest as a pillow; rubbing his head a little and adjusting himself comfortably. I wanted so much as to touch him but I was far too bloated to move so I softly muttered a good night and Zim replied with a good night as well.

But now I woke up because I felt a sharp pain on my side. Two pointy objects jabbed their sharp ends into me. It was quick so I ignored it but when I was just about to drift off again when the pain came again. This second time hurt more than the first. I shifted away from the unknown source. I was too tired to do anything about it and for a second I thought I was being dissected, opened up on an autopsy table but I didn't take the thought seriously.

Then I heard a voice...it was more like a whimper. It was pleading, telling me sorry. I heard my name so I assumed the voice was talking to me so I slowly opened my eyes and I was looking up at the ceiling of the voot cruiser. I was still in space...but the ship seemed dimmed. Sleep mode, I thought. As my eyes scanned the surface of the ceiling I heard another apology quickly followed by a 'no'. I turned to my left.

"Zim?" I whispered in a groggy voice then I hissed as that pain struck my side again. I quickly looked to my right to find that it was coming from Zim. His long and pointy talons were piercing my skin. Looking back to Zim I caught his pinched expression before it faded away. Another word slipped passed his drowsy lips.

Dib.

I was beginning to worry at this point.

Was Zim having a...nightmare? The little Irken stirred, making unpleasant noises. I should have woken Zim up but I found the sight too intriguing. It had me spell bound. I felt bad but...I just wanted to see just a little more...

Zim would makes quick reflexes with his fingers, causing me pain in my side as he was digging those sharp fingertips into my flesh. I slowly removed his hand and kept my face to his. Again more apologies and pleas. What was he dreaming about ? I started to feel really bad now, just watching Zim suffer like that so I gently shook Zim by the shoulder, calling his name softly. I felt him move.

Zim's large eyes shoot open as he made a huge gasp of air. For a second I could have sworn that Zim was terrified to see me, right in front of him. As if I was a murderer or something. I was lying on my side as Zim was lightly pressing his palms against my chest, breathing quite heavily. Sweat made its way down his forehead. I tried to consult Zim but he kept resisting me, saying a mantra of no's. I panicked a little, I didn't think Zim knew he was awake yet.

"Zim! Hey, wake up, it's me" I tapped his cheeks a little. Zim stopped moving and scanned my face viciously. I gave him a worried expression.

"Dib...?" he said out of breath.

"You alright?" I began caressing his cheek softly. He looked down. It seemed as those he was stricken with guilt or maybe he was going to cry. I couldn't tell, the expression was all too new for me; worrying me even more.

"Zim? Were you having a bad dream?" I should have said nightmare because 'bad dream' was such a motherly thing to say.

Zim simply nodded and buried his head into my chest with his arms beside him clinging to my shirt in fear. I pulled him close to me as possible. I knew Zim never showed fear but he was now. I didn't ask him what his dream consist of. It just wasn't a good idea. We laid there for quite some time until Zim spoke.

"Dib...will you ever hate me again?"

I didn't think at all when I told him no. "Why?" I asked.

"No matter what..." he muttered into my chest.

Again I didn't think at all when I said no matter what, again I asked why.

Zim was really shaken by this, I could tell, he just wasn't himself. "I need you Dib." he whispered. I didn't know what to say. Was Zim serious about that? Should I say it back? Do I need Zim too?

"Zim, what's wrong?" I said with pure concern. I took his shoulders to make him look at me. His face looked...hopeless? Restless? Could it even look pale? Zim just looked sick all together. Now was the time to ask, "What did you dream about?"

"You." He said in a frightful voice and my heart sank. "You...were chasing me...through a dark alley that seemed endless. Then I tripped and looked up into a shadow of you with purely red eyes...blood red..." he paused. I stared at him, scared as well. I heard dreams mean something, your sub-conscious showing us our repressed thoughts and feelings, but do nightmares count too? Are they representations of the deepest and darkest pains we hide?

Zim's frightened voice pulled me from my thoughts. "You told me you will hate me, destroy me...leave me...I was suddenly being strapped to an autopsy table by you. I yelled for you to stop as you pulled the table and you kept telling me these unpleasant things...no matter how many times I said I was sorry you would continue to pull the table...I don't really remember much after that...but I do remember seeing you, the real you...but you were crying and looked deeply hurt as I was being dragged away..." Zim finished and looked into my eyes. He was really scared.

I placed my hand on the back of his head and gently pulled him towards me, whispering, "it's just a dream, Zim...it's just a dream." But even I knew it meant something, something devastating.

I felt something move and knew it was Zim. My eyes were closed but I could tell that Zim sat up for a bit. Keeping my eyes closed, there was a hand moving tenderly on my cheek soon followed by a peck on the lips. My eyes threatened to open but I kept them shut. Zim got up completely. _I need you Dib_ echoed inside my head. This proved it. I didn't even know why Zim needed me all of a sudden.

"Gir." Zim said quietly for once. He was always screaming the robot's name.

"Yes sir!" Gir said.

"Help me clean this place up...there are plans to be done and I can't have this place a mess like this." Zim informed the robot, who giggled.

"Okie dokie!" soon after wrappers and junk were being crumpled up.

Zim sighed heavily and what I heard next almost made me jump for joy, but I couldn't for obvious reasons.

"We're almost home..."


	6. Chapter 6

The voot cruiser lights were dimmed again when I opened my eyes. I shifted here and there and no wrappers hit against me as I moved. I turned to my side to watch the stars again. I haven't looked at them since I first got here. They didn't change in any way, shape or from. They only stayed still and beautiful.

There were sounds of liquids being poured and glasses clanking together behind me. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and looked around the ship. I saw Gir sleeping on the floor again, cuddling the empty suck monkey he drank hours ago. Then I heard a flap of paper, I looked to find Zim sitting on the floor with his back facing the couch. He was looking at a sheet of paper and bottles between his spread out legs.

I watched him curiously as he made a beverage of some sort. He put the paper down beside him, I tried to read it but it was in Irken writing. Zim shook a fancy looking bottle that reminded me of those bottles used to pour alcohol into peoples martini's after they are done then he dumped the clear pink liquid into something I couldn't see. The alien reached for a stirring stick that was just as nice looking as the bottle and stirred the mixture. I got distracted by how Zim's antennae bounced in a playful manner atop his head.

I placed my arms over the edge of the couch and lay my head on them, watching my little alien like I did on earth. Zim was unaware of my conscious presence, it made me smile, just watching him. I wanted to ravish him right on the spot for some reason.

Zim began putting materials away and my eyes were instantly glued to that sweet ass of his.

Strange, I just woke up and my mind is already in the gutter. Must be all the junk food. Zim turned around and almost dropped the glass bottle he was holding.

"D-dib! How long have you been there?" he asked in shock.

"Not too long. What's that? A potion?" I asked mockingly. Zim turned and bent over to grab something out of the little door, it looked like a butter tart and I made the most confused face ever. I watched him place the treat on the screen of the voot cruiser after he made his way to the couch. I continued to give him a confused look and he smiled at me. I couldn't tell if it was a genuine smile or a wicked one, looked like a mix of both.

"Dib, there's somethings I want to do with you..." he said seductively while slipping his knee in between my legs and draping his arms around my neck; the bottle lightly brushing against my back. My mind wasn't the only mind in the gutter.

"Things...? Like what?" my voice lacked the air it needed. The room suddenly got a lot warmer. Zim grinned and smashed our lips together. I let out a yelp as I fell backwards onto the couch. I had my arm stretched up holding onto the back of the couch.

Zim immediately began harshly deepening the kiss. He pushed his tongue through my teeth and captured my tongue with his longer, more flexible one. Thank god I had a nose because Zim consumed my entire mouth, making it next to impossible to breathe. He moaned as I slipped my tongue passed his and into his mouth.

Zim still had the bottle in his hands and I could feel the cool surface of it rub against my cheek. My hands went straight for Zim's ass, wanting to feel the flesh in my hands as I squeezed it. Zim gasped at the gesture but approved. He grabbed a chunk of my hair and pulled my head back causing my dull teeth to clash with his sharp ones. Our mouths were open and our tongues overlapped each other's in the air as we panted. I was definitely getting hard and I felt embarrassed since Zim was going to feel it soon.

Zim bit on my upper lip then licked it. My hands made it up and underneath Zim's shirt to press my dull nails into the flesh and racked them down the sides of his back. Zim seemed to really enjoy that as he moaned rather loudly.

"Dib" he said breathless and I replied with a 'Mmm' "Zim wants you." He said in a voice I understood as lust. I stopped to look at Zim, his eyes were filled with a mix of lust and passion for sure. I began to sit up and Zim let me push him back as I did so.

"Zim..." I didn't know what to say. I was so excited, in both ways, yet scared. Were things going too fast? I thought. "I...I don't know about..." I couldn't finish my sentence. Did Zim want what I think he wanted...did he want to do it soon? I looked at Zim with confusion.

Zim traced my cheeks with his free hand and planted a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Can Zim change your mind?" he asked sweetly. I felt like such a girl, actually thinking about not having sex with Zim. I wanted him too but I didn't want to move too fast. Plus it would be my first time and those didn't usually turn out good.

I thought about Zim's question. What could he do to change my mind? "Zim, you could kiss me one more time and I'd change my mind..." I looked down as if looking for the next thing to say. I looked at Zim again. "I just don't want to go and do things so early into our relationship...you know..."

"Zim wants to do something with you, Dib. Irken couples do it to celebrate a new, romantic relationship." Zim said smiling as he leaned over to place the glass bottle on the floor. When he leaned back up we stared into each other's eyes.

"You're telling me a lot about Irken costumes, why is that?" I asked in curiosity. Zim tilted his head to the side.

"Ever since you told me you could read Irken I sort of...uh thought you'd like to know other stuff." the alien flushed and I chuckled.

"I do...by the way...what did you say back in your base, after I told you I could read a little bit of Irken?" Zim looked lost for a second, as if he completely forgot about the incident. Then his face went two shades darker.

"Oh...heh that...I said it was...sexy." he muttered the last word and looked away from me. My eyes were as wide as dinner plates. I replayed the scene in head, replacing the Irken words with English ones..._that's sexy _he said right to my face. My face flushed.

I looked down to see that Zim was now holding that treat he took out earlier. The outside looked like it was made of crust while the middle was filled with a deep purple filling. Zim looked up at me grinning.

"So we share this, you see." He put it up to my face and I stared at it.

"It's...so small. I can eat it in one bite." I told him, he just smiled.

"That's where the romance comes in, Diblet." He cooed.

Before I could say anything he gently pressed the sweet against my lips. I guess he wanted me to open my mouth, so I did slowly. Zim placed the tart between my teeth and I watched as he leaned forward.

Zim bit down on the sweet with his teeth. I felt his lips press against mine causing a shiver to run up my spine. Zim bit into the treat and backed away. The rest of it fell into my mouth. I was still pretty full from our junk food frenzy but I ate the treat anyways. It was delicious, tasted like sugar sweet blueberries.

"I didn't know you were a romantic, Zim." I smiled and Zim smiled back.

"You think that's romantic?" he said in a cocky voice as he glazed the back of his hand on my cheek. Said cheek was burning as the look in Zim's eyes made me want to melt. He started removing the glove on his right hand. He then raised his exposed hand in the air next to his face. Grabbing my left hand with his left hand, Zim placed my hand on his 'gloveless' hand, making our fingers lace together. His raw skin was twice as soft on his bare hand.

I gave Zim a reddened yet blank face and Zim looked down a little before he spoke.

"Invaders never take off their gloves...unless they are confessing to someone they...love." the last word made its way straight into my heart and I gasped. Zim looked desperately into my overly shocked eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but when nothing came out I closed it again. I squeezed onto Zim's hand and he squeezed mine back. We were silent until I took a deep breath.

"...are you saying you...love me Zim?" my voice was barely audible.

Zim leaned down and rested his head on my chest."Yes..." he said. I didn't know if Zim heard my heart skip a beat or felt how fast it was beating but it hurt just having the organ.

"Zim I...I don't know what to say." I felt Zim lift his head off my chest and he looked at me. We were still holds hands.

"Say you love Zim back." I froze. My hand in Zim's went limp. How do I say it back! I screamed in my head. I was still processing the words Zim said to me. Zim squeezed my hand and leaned closer to my face, which looked to the ground. "You love me...right...?" Zim's voice sounded hurt. My hesitation was killing him. I wanted to tell him that love was a strong word but it was too late, Zim has already said it three times in the last minute.

I looked at Zim and smiled. I wrapped my free arm around Zim's back and pulled him into a hug.

"Yes, Zim. I love you." I told him. I felt him relax against me. The hell with it I told myself, no one has ever told me they loved me, why ruin the only time I'll hear it? We broke apart from both the hug and holding hands. Zim snapped his glove back on and reached for the neglected glass bottle.

"Now, we celebrate!" he said with a wide grin.

"What is in that bottle?" I asked suspiciously and Zim's grin widened.

"This, Dib-love, is an Irken equivalent of alcohol."

my eyes widened. "_You want to get drunk!"_this was unlike Zim.

Zim pressed his index finger against my lips. "Shhh! Do you want to wake up Gir?" I shook my head. "Good." he removed his finger and twisted the cap on the bottle off and I gave him a worried look.

"Zim, I don't think we should get drunk..." I said in an unsure tone.

Zim laughed. "Nonsense, Dib. Of course we should, it's just us. What could possible go wrong?"

"We could end up having sex..." I muttered, unfortunately Zim heard me loud and clear.

"Like I said, what could go wrong?" he gave me a sly grin and I narrowed my eyes dangerously.

"Are you only doing this to have sex with me?" I ask, kind of pissed. I shouldn't have been mad, Zim just told me he loved me and I said it back. So what was stopping us, or me, from going all the way?

Zim's happy expression diminished when I asked that. His antennae went limp against his head and his eyes pleaded with me. He clutched the bottled with both of his hands and held it against his chest, giving me his puppy dog look.

I put both of my hands on his shoulders and placed a kiss on his lips.

"We'll see how things turn out." I winked at him and Zim jumped for joy and I laughed.

We were laughing for no reason. I think Zim said something but I didn't remember what it was of course. We were actually drunk.

The liquid Zim gave me was unbelievably sweet; I got more of a sugar rush than drunk, like Zim, who could barely stand and watching the alien wobble back and forth was too cute. He was going on about his Tallest now.

"I swear...they...they definitely have something going on there! You know what I mean?" He asked but never let me actually answer. "Like I see the...the _signs_, Dib...the way they look into...into eyes...their eyes." the Irken was beyond speech. He still had the bottle in his hand and took a swig then he pressed our lips together and forced the drink into my mouth. I made mangled sounds and tried to stop him but that stuff made me feel weak.

The liquid dripped down my jaw when Zim pulled away. "Nugh...Zim...!" I said as a delayed response. Zim giggled and swung his arms around my neck lazily, his body sloped on mine.

"Ooooh Dib~! Tell Zim compliments~!" he said as he leaned heavily against my being. I smiled a goofy grin.

"Well...I've always thought...that the aliens portrayed on earth, you know the grey, big headed, black eyed, and naked ones? Yeah...I always thought they were ugly...but you proved me wrong...you're a very attractive alien Zim." I said in a thoughtful yet stupid voice.

Zim squeezed me in a tight hug then he complimented me. "Out of allllll the human pig-smellies, _you_ are the smartest...but I think _NO! _I know that you know that...sooooo...I'mma say you gotta be the sexiest human I've ever seen." he said confidently and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Awww, thanks Zim." I said in a girly voice as I hugged him with the grace of an elephant.

"_AND!_" Zim almost screamed. "and, I like your hair...hehe." he started playing with my huge lock of hair that stuck up into the air. He rubbed it up and down, over and over. He watched his own hand and made over dramatic moaning sounds, I watched him in mild shock.

"Hey! Q-Quit it!" I whined but Zim was having too much fun.

"No! Zim must give your long hair a handjob!" Zim burst out laughing when he said the word 'handjob'. I just thought the alien knew way too much.

"D-Don't be stupid, Zim." I laughed while I pried Zim's tiny hands off my hair. The alien whined but it didn't last long when Zim stood up. Not doing a good job of it of course. I had to grab him a little to keep him up or pull him down, I didn't know what I was trying to do.

I had my hands clinging to the shirt over Zim's hips, laughing while Zim started swaying them side to side, making me laugh twice as hard. I was having a blast with Zim pretending to be a Hula dancer. He was laughing a little too, but tried to stay professional. The way he made the waving hand gestures killed me.

"Dib! Dib! Let's play a game! Kay? Zim will pick!" He thought for a second, I was waiting for my laughter to die down when he made up his mind. "Let's play a stripping game!" he said excitedly and I gave him a deadpan look.

"No way! I don't play-" I was cut off by Zim.

"Too bad! You must play Dib! It will be fun!" He was clapping his hands. I sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"What are the rules?" I asked, slightly curious.

"Dunno...never played one before..." Zim said, looking at me for direction. I face palmed. "Do you know any, Dib-stripper?" he giggled at the nick name.

I did a little too, too 'drunk' to care."Hmmmm..." I was sure why I was thinking, I didn't know any, I already said I didn't play these kinds of games. "How about...you slowly take off your clothes...and I watch intensively." I gave Zim my most perverted smile and Zim smiled just as perverted.

"I like the sound of that." he said as he took a step forward and sat onto my lap; his legs pressed against mine. Air caught at my throat as Zim's arm crossed over his stomach and grabbed the sides of his shirt.

Just like I said, Zim lifted the clothing slowly, exposing his flawless green flesh. I lightly trailed my fingers down his side and could feel his skin stretching as he inhaled. Zim threw the fabric to the floor once it was off. I watched it fall and looked up at Zim, who was looking down at me and combing my hair with his delicate fingers. I closed my eyes, what bliss I thought.

Suddenly, I felt those long fingers slide under my shirt a little and tug at the sides. I opened my eyes and looked into Zim's; they had that lust and passion in them again. Cold air rushed to meet my skin as Zim lifted my shirt and I placed my hands on Zim's shoulders so he could remove the shirt completely. He threw it away like he did his own shirt.

We were both topless and Zim chuckled. I gave him a confused look then he pointed to my left nipple.

"You humans and your strange things." he chuckled again and I blushed.

"Hey no making fun." I swatted his hand away from that spot, afraid he would poke it...which would really hurt. Zim pouted a little but stopped when he saw something else that peaked his interest.

"Dib! There's...a hole in your stomach!" Zim sounded scared as he hesitated to poke his finger into the 'hole'.

"It's not a hole Zim." I took his finger and inserted it into my belly button. He gasped and I laughed. "It's called a belly button."

"Weird..." he muttered as he wiggled his finger around a little. He removed it then wrapped his arms around my neck; our mouths were just inches away from each other. I thought Zim was going to kiss me again but he made to move in doing so. Instead he adjusted his legs in a sitting position with his knees bent. The movement caused Zim to topple over but I caught him.

"Zim...?" I asked in somewhat concern. Zim laughed a little and muttered a little thanks. What happened next really shocked me.

Zim began to grind against me, my breath hitched and I froze for a quick second but relaxed at the sensation I began to feel. A moan escaped my mouth effortlessly. Zim moved faster and his breathing grew faster, as did mine. I grabbed Zim's hips and started to grind against him too. He let out a moan and pushed a little harder. I felt myself get harder and harder by the second and Zim was well aware of my 'need'.

Our mouths meet roughly and this time I shoved my tongue into Zim's mouth. Zim was still grinding so I moaned loudly into his mouth. Our tongues explored for a bit.

My erection became unbearable and I felt that if 'it' couldn't breathe, neither could I so I started unzipping my fly and trudged down my pants. Zim broke away from the kiss and slowly stopped moving. He lifted his butt off me so I could fully remove my pants, along with my boxers. I let out a relieving sigh. It was weird how I wasn't ashamed to be naked and erect in front of Zim. Zim enjoyed the sight immensely.

"My Dib, Zim did not expect to see you naked before he was." he licked his lips and smiled that wicked smile.

I scoffed. "I was suffocating down there!" Zim just giggled and pushed me so I was lying down on the couch. He then started to trail butterfly kisses down my stomach, making me squirm a little under him, mostly because I was anticipating something. Zim got the hint and grabbed the base of my need and I moaned loudly. Zim licked the tip and my entire body shuddered. Then he took all of me in and bobbed up and down. I panted so hard and fast it felt like I wasn't getting enough air into my lungs. Zim rubbed at my base a little while he twirled his tongue expertly around my length. I practically screamed in ecstasy, vaguely noticing Zim moving around but I paid it no attention.

Zim gave one last lick before he lifted his head and looked up to me, I was a mess; breathing rapidly though my slightly opened mouth and my eyes were almost closed but filled with the same lust and passion as Zim's. He crawled up to my face and gently pressed our lips together. I deepened the kiss as Zim kicked his feet and was it then that I realized he was taking off his pants. My heart raced as my eyes went wide. I broke away from the kiss.

"Zim..."I said softly and unsure.

Zim smiled. "It's ok, Dib." He nuzzled my nose where his nose should have been. "Let Zim take care of everything." he said sweetly and pressed our lips together quickly and backed away. I gave him a weak smile and a weak nod to go with it.

I watched in slight confusion as Zim pressed his hands on my chest and rose up. My face flushed at the sight of his alien reproduction organ. It looked similar to his tongue and it too was stiff with excitement. My eyes almost popped out of my head as Zim positioned himself above _my_ human reproductive organ.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is how Zim wanted to do it? And this whole time I was worried it would hurt...

Zim's hands were planted firmly on my chest as he pressed his entrance onto my tip. I inhaled sharply.

Zim whimpered and his hands shook a little once the tip was in. I looked at Zim and he had that pinched expression on but it was much worse, Zim was in pain, I knew it was his first time too and I felt terrible so slowly I reached for his erection and just as slowly, I rubbed at his base to see if he'll approve, which he did with this sweet mewing noise. I began to run my hand up and down his length while Zim took me in inch by inch. His face a mix of pain and pleasure now.

Once I was fully inside the Irken, engulfed in the intense heat of his inner walls. I moaned and lolled my head back, pumping my hand faster, making Zim moaned as well.

Zim raised and lowered again, his claws dug into my skin as he raised again. The mewing sounds he made followed by tiny whimpers rang through my ears as I panted heavily. After a little bit, Zim quickened the pace. I tried to keep up with him with my hand but I was being overwhelmed with pleasure that I stopped to take a hold of Zim's thighs. Zim leaned forward a little to give himself a little more speed.

I still found this all hard to believe, I was actually having sex with Zim...and the most shocking part is that he wanted to. I moaned with each connection our hips made and Zim did the same. My eyes were screwed shut, I wanted to concentrate on that hot friction and I left my hearing on alert for more of Zim's delicious sounds.

Suddenly I felt a breathtaking feeling in my stomach. My body tensed up as Zim continued to move up and down. My fingers pressed against Zim's thigh harshly.

"Z-Zim! I think I'm...going to..." I wasn't sure if I really was but I sure did feel like exploding _very _soon.

"Nuh-No, Dib...not...yet...hold it...in." Zim paused for obvious reasons.

It was getting more and more difficult to breath as my entire body was washed by an uncontrollable wave of pleasure. "I-I can't!" I said breathlessly and Zim sped up more.

"Dib...wait." the alien almost pleaded.

But it was too late.


	7. Chapter 7

I cried in pleasure as I released into my alien boyfriend.

Zim sat up straight and removed his hands on my chest. I was panting heavily, drowning in pleasure. I wanted to hold Zim while I was in such bliss but I felt him lift up and sit on the couch, panting a little. Suddenly my wave of pleasure turned into a wave of nausea.

"...Zim?" I asked as I sat up to look at him. Guilt struck my heart as I saw his disappointed expression. His antennae were limp against his head.

Zim slowly looked towards me and I felt like crying in shame. "Yes...?" I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. I fucked up our first time but was it seriously all my fault! I asked myself. Zim was just so...hot and breathtakingly amazing...I couldn't handle it. I dropped my head in utter shame.

"I'm sorry..." I coked out.

"It's fine." Zim said. I couldn't tell what he was feeling by this. I know I felt ultimately horrible.

"No...it's not fine. I'm really sorry Zim...I...I don't deserve you..." I found myself blurting out the last part.

I saw Zim turn his head at me in shock and what seemed to be a hint of anger. "Never say that again." He said sternly. I looked at Zim, just as shocked as he was when he heard what I said.

"But-" he cut me off.

"No! Don't be stupid Dib." He got up to retrieve our clothes. "Don't compare your worth to your skills in bed."

Embarrassment took over me. I knew it was silly to compare myself like that and when Zim said it, it made it more evident that I was lacking talent in that certain area.

Zim sat back down and passed me my clothes and I muttered a thanks. "You make it sound like I only want this relationship so I could have sex with you." he said pulling on his pants. I made no attempt to putting my clothes on. I heaved a pathetic sigh.

"I know Zim...but you weren't satisfied...I feel...terrible about that..." Zim lifted my chin with his clawed hand and I looked into those beautiful orbs.

"Were you satisfied?" he asked. I didn't want to say I was because I felt like I would be rubbing it in. I also didn't want to insult Zim more than I already had.

"Yes." I said quietly.

Zim smiled. "Then Zim is satisfied." he turned to put on his shirt. I sat there speechless for a few moments. Did Zim love me that much!

"...that's not fair..." I finally said. I just couldn't forgive myself. Zim was fully dressed while I was still...fully naked.

Zim looked at me. "Silly, silly, human. There is plenty of time to practice later. Now, put your smelly clothes on, Zim is tired and wishes to use the Dib as a comforter." He said dismissing the matter. I was going to ask if he actually wanted to do it with me again, even after the end result of our last 'love-making' but instead got dressed.

Once dressed, I looked at Zim and he looked back at me. I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips, when I pulled away a little, I whispered against his lips.

"I love you."

Zim smiled, kissed me back and said the same words back.

"-id..." came a soft whisper. What was it saying?

"Dib..."

I muttered a what. I didn't know what was going on, everything was dark. I felt so...disconnected with my surroundings.

"...listening...me?"

I nodded my head. I felt consumed by the still air and my mind was in a thick blanket of fog.

"...na live...ith me?" the words were chopped up and made no sense to me, my body felt heavy as I turned around. I muttered something I didn't remember and all was dark again.

I shifted in my sleep, not comfortable the way I woke up. I opened my eyes only a little and groaned. Not just because I woke up but the fact the I woke up to dull colours again. I wanted to see the sky again...hear the birds chirp again...feel the sun's rays again...I never wanted these simple daily life things so bad before.

I moved my legs and saw that Gir was nested against them, he looked at me as I moved around.

"Yes, My Tallest..." Zim said. His tallests are speaking to him...why?

I heard a sigh, not from Zim. "Is the human with you?" asked the voice that sighed. My eyes shoot open.

"Yes." came Zim's reply. I sat up and saw those leaders looking at me. Zim turned around, shock evident in his face.

"Dib! What are you-" I cut him off.

"Why are they here?" I kept my stare on the screen they were on; they were on the touch screen in the voot cruiser.

Zim gave me a 'busted' look and my heart sank. The tallest looked at me and Zim, kind of confused.

"Zim what the fuck is going on!" I yelled at him. Zim's Tallests were surprised and the purple one jumped but Zim said nothing.

"_WELL!_" I screamed this time.

"Zim, you haven't told the human where you are taking him?" Asked the red Tallest and I looked at said Tallest.

"_WHAT!_" I leaned closer to the screen but Zim held me back. I looked at him and he gave me this weak look and turned to face his Tallest.

"Zim...reporting out..." he pressed a button and cut the transmission. All was still.

"Dib..."Zim whispered. The sound drove me insane.

"What the fuck Zim!" I pushed the other away from me. "Where are you taking me! And you better fucking answer me!" I yelled.

Zim simply pointed out the window. I whipped my head to see what he was pointing at and almost died.

Ahead of us, not too far away was...the massive.

I stared at it, speechless. Terror ripped through my entire frame and I began to choke on the still air as tears ran effortlessly down my cheeks. I watched as the humongous ship made its way to Zim's. Then I felt Zim's hand on my shoulder.

I choked out a hopeless and devastated why.

"...I couldn't leave without you..."

I didn't know what that meant but I cried. I didn't think about anything as I cried into my hands. My body was shaking in endless fear, I screamed in frustration and rocked back and forth, muttering into my trembling hands.

"What have I done? What have I done?"

I could hear Zim begging me to stop and to listen to him but I wouldn't have it. I cried hard and loud. After a few minutes, Zim decided to explain everything despite my refusal to listen.

"Dib! My Tallest demanded that I leave earth! I had to leave...I wasn't an invader anymore! I took too long! All the other invaders were done with their mission and I was holding everything up!" Zim explained desperately, as if it would cure everything instantly.I interrupted with a scream and covered my ears. Tears were falling rapidly down my face.

"Please Dib!" Zim grabbed my arm. "I had no choice, Dib! I had to leave!"

"_I DON'T CARE!" _I screamed at him.

"Please Dib! I'm sorry! Don't do this!" he pulled at my arm more and I pushed him away.

"_Fuck you! Get away from me! I hate you!_" I turned my back to Zim and cried harder.

"Dib...I'm...I'm sorry...I couldn't leave without you." he didn't attempt to touch me anymore.

"Don't give me that shit!" I yelled at him. "You never asked me for this! Never!"

"You would have said no..."

"Then why did you do it!"

He was silent as I cried harder, my throat was beginning to hurt.

"Because...I love you." he said quietly.

I choked and pulled at my hair with tears overflowing out of my eyes. "That's not a fucking reason! You asshole!"

"What did you want me to do!" Zim yelled at me, like he had a reason to yell. "Would you be happier if I just left!"

"_Yes!_" I answered immediately.

"You liar!" Zim screamed and I turned around to look him dead in the face. As weak as I was I still managed to give him my deadliest stare.

"_I'm the liar! You were lying this whole fucking time!_"

"I never once lied!"

"_Are you kidding me! Then why aren't we on earth! Huh?" _I couldn't believe he had the nerve to tell me he wasn't lying about 'seeing the stars'! About bloody everything!

"I never said we were going to earth!" he clenched his teeth as his antenna bent back in a hostile manner.

I sat there silently as the tears made their way down. I dropped my hands from my head and we stared at each other, our chests heaving. I understood now, Zim didn't ever tell me we were going back to earth, he said back 'home', his home. He didn't lie, not at all.

"I guess that makes it ok then...me being under the illusion that I was going back home...deception is a sure fire way to avoid the truth isn't it? Is that how you show your love for me..." I said in a weak and broken voice.

Zim's angry expression changed to one of guilt. "No...but I had little time to do anything...I couldn't ask you and wait for an answer...especially since the answer was more likely to be a negative."

"So you figured you should just drag me along with you!"

"It's not like earth is in danger...in fact it safer than it has ever been...my Tallest doesn't need such a planet filled with deadly toxins." Zim tried to convince me.

"Do you really think I only protected earth because it was in danger from you! It's my fucking home! I was born there! Leaving it is no fucking different!" I yelled and more tears streamed down my face as the thought of never returning home sunk in. I buried my face in my hands again and screamed until my lungs gave out.

"_IT'S NO DIFFERENT!"_ I repeated.

Zim fell silent; he was like that the whole way to the massive and continued to cry heavily into my hands.

The voot cruiser came to a halt and I heard machines hiss to life and the windshield opened for the first time in god knows how long. The ship rocked a bit and it sent a shiver down my spine and fresh tears leaked through my eyes. We were landing inside the massive.

There were many footsteps against metal, soon came voices. They were in Irken and I recognized Zim's. I was huddled in a ball against the couch, refusing to look passed my skinny arms protecting my view.

A few seconds later, I felt heavy gloved hands grab my shoulders. I gasped and removed my hands from my face. I yelped as I was roughly yanked up, Zim yelled at them in irken and they shoved me out of the ship. I wobbled as my feet hit the metal with two loud clanks. With my arms pulled behind my back, I began to burst out in tears once again. They tried to push me forward but I refused, yelling 'no's and 'let me go's.

"Hey! What's his problem!" the one guard said in english. I tried to free myself from them until I fell onto my knees.

"He's just...scared..." Zim said, I could tell he was deeply hurt but all this. I didn't bother to look at Zim or even say what I was feeling. All I wanted was to go home...or die.

"Well, we can't do anything with him like this!" The one guard said as he pressed his boot on my back and forced me to the hard, cold ground. I screamed in pain. The action caused me to bite my tongue and smash my cheek bone against the floor.

"_Watch it!_" Zim roared. I slowly opened my eyes, as much as I could, and Zim came into view. It was next to impossible to see him through all the tears and the awkward angle.

"Dib...please, everything will be ok." He kneeled low to the ground and rubbed my back. I gave the alien a dirty look.

"Fuck you!" blood splattered out of my mouth and onto the tiles. One guard seemed to freak out, he probably didn't like the fact I spit my inferior fluids on their 'holy' ship. I closed my eyes shut as Zim spoke to the guys in irken and swore under my breath as Zim stood up again.

Suddenly I was lifted and pushed harshly against a wall. It wasn't a flat wall either, wires popped out and were pressing hard against my flesh. Zim was yelling in irken again as hands grabbed onto my arms and head. I tried to break free but I was too weak and on my own, I could tell both guards were holding me against the wall. There was a slight pause in movement and for I second I thought they would let me go but then I felt a pinch at the side of my neck.

My body tensed and I let out a strangled groan of discomfort. A chilly liquid quickly expanded within my body and I felt at ease. The hands on my body left and everything began closing in.

Arms slowly circled my waist and I fell back onto a body. Incoherent words slipped passed my now numb mouth. My entire body became numb and I heard Zim's soft voice before I lost consciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Thank you for all the reviews/favourites and alerts! I wasn't going to post this chapter until I was done chapter 9 but unfortunatelyraven gave me an amazing review so I posted this for that reason._**

_Beep...beep...beep..._

I was terrified to awake up again. I never wanted to wake up, I hoped they inserted a killer drug that my body couldn't handle but that wasn't the case. Not at all. It was all wishful thinking. I've had suicidal thoughts befor, when I was on earth, but those thoughts were nothing compared to these ones.

_Beep...beep...beep..._

I want to die...each noise compels me to scream in agony. _Shut up! Shut up! _I screamed in my head. Please...kill me...I want to die...

_Beep...beep...beep_

It wasn't fair. I never get my way. Everything was out to get me and I never get my way. For once I want things to go my way... he hated me...he won...he loved me...he won. I'm not weak, I fight back...but it was all in vain. Earth was my last battle...I lost.

I finally opened my eyes. The room was a mix of pink, purple, and red. I stared at the wire infested ceiling and continue to hear the beeping noise. I'm in a bed and I'm not alone. Beside me was Zim, I knew he was there but I make no move to look him. I felt his big magenta eyes that I loved so much on me. Now I hate them and wished they burned my fragile skin with their stare. After minutes of silence I decided to speak.

"You told them to drug me, didn't you?"

I got no answer. I was fine with that. In fact I pushed the matter farther. "Can you ask them to kill me too? I'd like that." a weak yet wicked smile flashed across my face but left as soon as it came. Not even an evil smile could be done by me.

"...I know you're mad..." Zim said in a weak voice and I laughed at Zim's pathetic reply.

"Did you not think I wouldn't be?"

"It's understandable why you would be." Zim reasoned.

I didn't say anything, didn't need to, that was all that was needed to be said about the matter. I had every right to be mad, of course 'mad' was huge understatement.

"So about killing me..."

"Not going to happen." Zim assured me. I laughed again, I was going crazy and I knew Zim could tell.

"That's too bad...I didn't want to do it myself." I said, then I heard a chair being shoved back and suddenly Zim's face appeared in front of me. He had his arms prompted up by my sides and was glaring down at me and I was shocked for about a second.

"You will not die. Do you understand." he said in a stern voice. I glared at him with empty eyes that resembled how I felt; empty.

"It's my life, I'll do as I please." I spat back. Although I knew I didn't have a life anymore.

"I didn't bring you out here for you to off yourself." he narrowed his eyes.

An ancient fire ran throughout my entire body; the same fire that I felt when I was a kid. I threw a punch right at Zim's face. I guess he wasn't expecting the blow seeing as it caused him to whip off the bed and turn away. He was still standing, slightly hunched over and pressing his hands against the abused cheek, holding make a cry of pain.

I quickly got out of the bed and pushed the alien to the floor and Zim yelp in surprise. My sight was blinded by the hatred I felt all over again, the feeling foreign to me when I used to be able to control it so well in the past. When I fell in love with Zim the hatred diminished and was never felt again. That was what I thought anyways. Now it was back in full bloom, bigger and stronger than ever.

Before either of us knew it, my hands were forcefully gripping at Zim's throat. Zim choked and clawed at my hands which only provoked me to squeeze harder. The tears were back as I watched my hands suck the life out of the one I said I loved. Zim's legs kicked at my sides and his body twisted uncontrollably causing me to briefly lose balance. Saliva trickled out of the sides of Zim's mouth as he gasped for the air I wasn't letting him get.

_You'll be a murderer! _I yelled at myself. My eyes went wide and I instantly stopped. The second my hands were gone, Zim burst back to life. His eyes were tearing up and he inhaled one breath after another. I slowly got up, shaken by what I've done and the thoughts that ran through my head. The tears never creased to fall.

The door was whipped open and the guards from before appeared at the door, a nurse looking female irken standing close behind. She looked horrified. For some reason the look made me cringe inside.

The guards took a quick look at Zim then to me. Knowing full well what has happened, they charged after me and I blew passed them and as I passed the female I choked out a sorry. I could still hear Zim choking and heavy footsteps made their way after me.

The floors, walls and ceilings were made out of metal and laced with wires so tripping was a high possibility as I ran my way through the unknown halls. I had no clue where I was going and the guards were close behind, my significantly longer legs providing me an advantage of out running them. But how long will it be until I wear out or meet a dead end?

I could had stopped and pleaded for a death sentence but as I ran I realized that...I'm don't want to die. The thought brought more tears from my tired eyes. I was in an impossible situation, I wanted death but I didn't…I hated Zim and I loved him.

I made a few quick turns, hid against a few walls and made my way around many rooms. I stopped in a corner that had an elevator at the end of the hall and I made a dash for it.

Unable to read the writing I pressed all the buttons, which was smart since the elevator opened instantly. I ran in and took a break as I slid down the wall as the doors slid shut. My heart was pounding against my chest so hard I swear it would rip out on its own. I was far too pumped full of adrenaline to continue crying.

The elevator would open and close as I sat there, motionless. Then when the elevator opened again I saw a gigantic hemi-spheric window. I quickly got up before the doors shut again and leaned against them. My sight was spinning out of control and I waited for it to simmer before I moved again.

Once I was fine, I proceeded towards the giant window that caught my attention. The black atmosphere riddled with tiny white lights.

The stars.

I stood there, captivated once again by their endless beauty. I slowly made my way up to the glass and gingerly pressed my hand against it. It was cold to the touch. Then I noticed all the other unfamiliar planets in the far background. Some green, some blue and some an array of other colours. I was within a whole different galaxy.

_Wasn't this what you only dreamed of? _I asked myself; to explore the universe. And here I am...far out into the universe, a place that no other human on earth had seen and would never see, but me and only me. I'm the luckiest human alive yet I feel dead inside. Again came my tears, when would they end?

It felt like I was there for hours, maybe even years, before I heard the hiss of an opening elevator. I prepared myself for the worst as I closed my eyes, salt water tears dripping out. Each footstep slamming into my heart like a sludge hammer. Being alive was so painful now.

"I knew I'd find you here."

I choked out a sob as I heard Zim's quiet voice and for the second time I fell to my knees. The footsteps walked up to me from behind and I felt im kneeling behind me. With my hands covering my face, Zim placed his hands over them. My back tensed up and I let out a frightened gasp. Zim just rocked our bodies in sync and rested his chin on my shoulder.

I cried heavily again until I felt empty and only my sniffling could be heard in the soundless room. Zim was still moving us back and forth; it was unbelievably comforting and I hated him for it. I removed my hands from my face along with Zim's and I placed them on my thighs. I felt Zim's cold cheek press against my moist one as I shivered. We stayed like that for a while and as much as I loathed admitting it, I wanted to stay like that forever.

When Zim spoke, his voice sounded tired as if it had aged in some ways. "I missed you..." he said softly as usual. I didn't say anything, I couldn't say it back that's for sure.

Zim continued to talk. "I'm so selfish, Dib. I've caused you so much misery for my own reasons. I've taken action on you in so many ways when I know I shouldn't have. I want you so much that I don't care if you hate me because in my eyes, you are mine no matter what you do. I'm so selfish that being near you, despite your hate for me, brings me so much joy." He stopped rocking and laced our fingers together on my lap. I didn't move a muscle as I watched his skinny fingers intertwine with mine. Sadly, it reminded me of when we first enterlocked our digits.

"My love is a selfish one." he whispered into my ear. "I know you never signed up for this Dib, but that is the extent of my greed."

I squeezed my fingers and shut my eyes as I finally spoke. "What if I'm never happy...being yours. I am not an item of possession."

"I'll make you happy, as long as you are mine, you'll be treated like a treasure." Zim said as he licked the outer lobe of my ear. It's been awhile since I felt his long, serpent tongue on my skin and I whimpered.

"W-why did it have to be like this...we were so happy on earth, weren't we?" I whispered in a weak voice.

"Of course, but there were complications. Here, there will be no complications." he began trailing butterfly kisses down my neck. I squirmed under the touch.

"S-stop it!" I breathed out as I tried to lean away. Zim stopped immediately and pulled me close again.

"Ok...but we have to go soon." he said, I could tell he was talking to me delicately. He must still be on edge around me since I was a second away from choking him to death a while ago.

"I don't want to go..." I said but where else was I supposed to go, I came here with Zim, I'm bond to leave with him. They would never keep a human here, I bet they wanted me out as soon as possible.

"My selfishness won't allow that." he unlinked our fingers and snaked his thin arms around my waist and hoisted me up. I let him, hopelessness overtaking my being. Zim turned me around and the white gauze sticking out of his cheek catch my attention. I've forgotten the punch I made on him, I must have broken skin. I smirked a little and Zim knew exactly why I did. He gently pressed his fingers on the bandage and smirked as well.

"Just like old times." he remarked.

I looked down in shame not wanting to think about what I did. I know Zim deserved it and he knew it too but I was so weak that any feeling that blossomed inside me, I acted upon. Suddenly I felt a pair of lips press lightly against mine. I didn't move and Zim backed away, took a hold of my hand and we headed out to the elevator.

%%%%%

Zim took me to this fairly large room with nothing but wires as walls and a heavily platted floor. It was dimly lidded, giving this extremely eerie vibe to the entire room. There were a few working Irkens at these computer systems and a strange tub-like contraption at the far left corner of the room. It ranged from giant to thin cords and wires sticking out and a table filled with flashing buttons. I eyed it suspiciously.

When we walked in, hand-in-hand, Zim quickly released mine. He obviously didn't want his race to know of our relationship; which really pissed me off but also saddened me. I wanted comfort while in this creepy room, just like at Zim's base. We, well Zim, was ordered to wait for the Tallest's arrival.

When they hovered in, everyone but me bowed to them. I pretended not to notice them as everyone showed their gratitude towards their leaders. There was no way I'd do that. I suppose they were ok with that since they didn't call me on it.

I've never seen the tallest in real life before, never expected to either but there they were. They were pretty tall; I was only up to their waists while Zim was just under their waists.

The purple tallest heaved a heavy sigh while the red one spoke first.

"I really hope this is the last time we'll be seeing you, Zim." he said in a tired voice. The purple one nodded as he wolfed down a handful of donuts. Despite my anger, paranoia and depression being here, my eyes brightened at the sight of food. I wanted to yell '_you have __human food here!_' but of course I didn't. My emotions were really off balance.

The purple tallest noticed my beaming face.

"Hey, that thing is eyeing my food, Red. Let's destroy it!" he whined. I eyes widened a little for many reasons. One, he wanted me dead for simply looking at his food! And two, he referred to the other tallest as 'Red' and that tallest was wearing...red. In slight disappointment, I thought '_Please do__n't tell me his name is Purple..._'

"No, no, Purple." 'Red' said.

I resisted the unbearable urge to face-palm. This species leaders were in complete power because they were tall and their names were the colours they wear...was that not stupid? I wondered.

Red continued to talk "Haven't we seen you before?" he made his way to me and leaned his face a little _too _close to mine as he inspected me. I froze. These Irkens looked different from Zim, despite the height, their eyes where rectangular rather than oval like Zim's. Would Zim look like that if he grew more? Would Zim even grow more? Urgh, unnecessary thoughts invading my head! I should be depressed or furious about being here1 And I am but I have a feeling I'm in a strange phase of denial and ignorance.

"Urm...perhaps...?" I said quietly. Red leaned back and looked at Zim.

"Zim. There are a few _questions _we need to ask you before you leave us alone forever." Red said a bit sourly. Did Zim's leaders dislike him? If so, did Zim know about it? I asked in my head as I looked at Zim, who's face was stern and serious as he nodded.

Purple asked first. "You do know that you have failed your mission and no longer qualify as an Irken invader, riiiight?"

"More like never was an invader." Red commented in shame. My eyes shoot open and I spoke before I thought not to.

"What! Never an invader!" I yelled, everyone was looking at me, I suppose they never expected me to speak unless spoken to. Zim gave me a shocked look too, he knew this information?

"Is there a problem, _human_?" Red said the word human with slight disgust. I looked down, I wasn't going to say anything until Red urged me to.

"It's just...I've been fighting Zim to protect earth for many years and he wasn't even an invader?" I shook my head. "What a waste of time..." in the corner of my eye I saw Zim look down to the floor.

"So wait!" Purple said as he finished a mouthful of donuts he just ate. "You're that one big headed boy that always sneaked into Zim's base!"

Red looked at me again. "I thought you looked familiar!" he said in odd excitement. These leaders were weird…if not kind of stupid.

My face reddened a little from all the attention on me and that even aliens knew of my 'big-head' title. Why hadn't Zim said a word yet? I looked at him but he was speechless.

"You're Zim's rival that he always ranted about!" Purple said as if figuring out my identity was a finished puzzle.

"Yeah!" Red chimed in suspiciously. "Why did you bring your nemesis here Zim?" he asked even more suspiciously.

Zim finally spoke. "Well My Tallest, I had to bring _something_ from earth." My blood began to boil at that reply.

"_Something! So I am not a something you idiotic lizard!__"_ I yelled at the tiny Irken. Zim whipped his head towards me with panic in his eyes. I knew he didn't want anyone of his Irken race to know of our relationship but that was just too frigging bad, if I were to go anywhere with him and forced to abandon my life on earth to do so then he had to make sacrifices too, dammit!

The tallest fell silent, Purple seemed amused while Red was confused. Zim lowered his voice when he spoke.

"Dib, you know why I brought you." his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits and I made the same glare but mine was never as frightening since I didn't have eyes akin to the colour red like Zim did.

"Then tell them the _real _reason." I spat out the words, not too loud but loud enough for the four of us to hear and Zim sighed.

"Zim, are you lying to your almighty Tallest?" Red said inquiringly.

"Yeah Zim, there's a hefty fine for such a thing! Like…death. You know?" Purple threatened in a non-threatening way.

"No my Tallest. You see...urm..." Zim shifted on his toes and I continued to stare at him and so did the Tallests. Purple gulped down more donuts and Red looked impatient.

Zim continued, swallowing his irken pride, never to see it again after this. "Uh...I...uhh...have...um _feelings _for this human." he said sheepishly. Purple gasped, causing crumbs to fall out of his mouth and Red was interested in what Zim had said. I'm not sure it was a good interested or not.

"Feelings? What kind of feelings, Zim?" Red said seriously. As usual, the other tallest would add to the previous comment.

With his mouth stuffed with half chewed donuts. "Yeah! Do you, like, looove him or something!" the tall Irken laughed a little.

Zim went stiff as he muttered a 'yes'. Now both Irkens gasped. Even some of the other Irkens turned their heads around. After a few seconds, I looked at the floor thinking that maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"Zim...intergalactic relationships are forbidden, you know that." Red said, shocked and slightly disappointed.

"Yes, My Tallest..." was all Zim said.

I think Purple was the only one really intrigued by this. "Wow! You actually _love_ someone other than yourself!" he yelled enthused by the thought while nudging his red counterpart. I quickly went back to the time when Zim said his love was selfish. Even his Tallest knew of his greediness. For some reason, I felt better. Someone knew of my pain, kind of.

"Purple, this is not the time to-" Red was cut off by Purple and Red didn't look pleased by it.

"So did you guys, you know, _do _it?" Purple giggled between his words and Red yelled at him about not being professional but it was in vain.

I looked at Zim and he looked at me, our faces five shades darker. It got worse when Purple began to laugh, it was evident that we did have sex due to the look on our faces. The thought of our first time made my stomach turn.

Red was flabbergasted as he screamed in horror. "_Y-YOU ACTUALLY MATED WITH HIM ZIM!"_ Red used an even more embarrassing word than 'doing it'.

My face resembled a tomato and Zim's a blueberry, causing Purple to drop the half empty bag of food and clutch his almost non-existent waist. Red was still bewildered beyond belief. This was my fault, I should had just shut my giant mouth and let Zim do all the talking!

"That's just priceless!" Purple said between his laughter. "I can't even begin to imagine! Zim! Zim _mating_! Priceless, isn't it Red!"

Red face-palmed. "It's just like you Zim to break a rule to this extreme." he sighed disappointingly. "What are we going to do with you?" Red said looking away.

Purple creased his laughing and rested his elbow on Red's shoulder. "Aw, come on Red, it's Zim, of course he'd do something like this! It explains why he stopped bugging us for a while." his laughing fit started again.

Zim got the indication and blurted out more embarrassing things about our 'love-making'. "But M-My Tallest, we only had intercourse once, after we left earth!" I guess Zim didn't want his Tallests thinking I was more important then reporting to them.

Purple laughed more and Red began to chuckle a bit too. Why was this so funny to them?

"So...you...had sex...in space?" Red laughed between his words, Red's sudden laughter made Purple laugh harder. I felt like fainting but not in a dramatic way. We might as well be naked as we stood there, watching irken leaders laugh about our sex life.

"I never laughed so hard in a while..." Purple said in a blissful sigh. Red nodded his head. And these guys were leaders! I thought.

Zim decided now was a good time to speak up. "Urm, My Tallest...may we leave now?" I looked at Zim, not quite understanding the question since I wasn't sure how we would go anywhere.

Red looked at Zim. "Where was it you wanted to go?"

"Planet Mure." the tiny irken said.

Red thought for a minute. "Hmmm, that plant has similar qualities that are of earth and you want to live there...with him?" he pointed at me.

I was utterly shocked and a little amazed of the fact that there was another planet similar to mine. I watched Zim nod and my heart sank in my chest.

"Well, due to recent information..." Purple chuckled. "You'll have to be banned from Irk...we don't allow relationships such as yours like Mure does."

"I always knew you weren't suited to be an invader, no matter how much you loved to destroy everything." Red muttered as he went to the other smaller Irkens and spoke to them in Irken. Purple made his way to us and got really close; mostly to me. The tallest was still very interested about our relationship apparently.

"What do you see in this...human, Zim?" Purple asked as his antennae inspected my face, I tried not to move or anything but I couldn't help the nervous sound I made in my throat.

"Um...many things my tallest...like uh, he's very smart and tall." Zim pointed out and Purple made a thoughtful noise, he seemed to notice my height.

"...I remember you reporting about humans being really tall but stupid...this boy...is not stupid?" Purple asked then he looked at Zim. "You, yourself, had grown Zim, quite impressive." the tallest smiled wickedly. Being tall must be a real honour here. Then Red came back.

"Alright Zim. The teleporter machine is ready and set to the correct coordinates. You and your...mate may take your leave." Red reported. I blushed at the word 'mate', I was seen as Zim's mate now...on earth he would be my 'boyfriend' or 'lover'.

Then it hit me.

"Huh! Teleporter! You have teleporters!" my voice more excited than it should have. I'd always wonder what those would be like.

Red gave me a confused face.

"Um, they don't have those on earth." Zim clarified.

Red seemed to get it and smiled proudly."Well, lucky you."

"Must be great having a superior species such as us to be your mate!" Purple said excitedly. We blushed again and Red gave Purple a 'that's enough' face, electing a whine from Purple. The scene reminded me of when Zim went on about his Tallest having a thing...Zim wasn't wrong.

The tube in the far corner began to light up as it came to life. That was the teleporter? I thought. Zim lead me to the never-made-on-earth machine and it amazed me. I noticed that Zim was holding my hand, obviously not concerned about what anyone would think since they all knew now. We stepped into the strange machine and the tallest closed the tin door.

It was just me and Zim and I looked at the floor which had thousands of tiny light bulbs looking spheres under a plate of clear, thick glass. Zim squeezed my hand and I looked at him.

"I love you." The alien said quietly. Before I could say anything, a spectrum of extremely bright colours filled the tiny space where all the tiny lights were and I swear I went blind.

**If you think about it, half of this chapter is like the comic relief chapter! XP That's why Red and Purple aren't really OOC but I think they should have been more mad BUT that being said, Red and Purple aren't really serious people/aliens in my opinion.**


	9. Chapter 9

We transported to a location akin to that of a station.

The building itself was rather peculiar. It didn't have metal poles or wires; just pure, hard core cement? I couldn't see any indication of anything holding the structure up besides this smooth and slightly shiny material. It was everywhere and made up everything.

It was a bit of a shock to me to also see screens. Things appeared on the screen in some bizarre script like writing. Judging by the way things were displayed I'd say I was in some type of transportation area.

Organisms of every sort where making their way to and fro in a hurry. Blobs, half human-like half monster-like, small to tall, super fat to really skinny, some were almost transparent while others where jello-like. Whatever kind of beast like creature you could think of was apparent in this building.

All the _things_ here ranged from interesting to hideous to beautiful. I didn't even know how any of these things could exist and live amongst one another. Straight from a messed-up, cheap sci-fi horror flick! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs until I felt Zim's hands lace around mine delicately. I flinched but reframed from looking his way.

"Dib." Zim almost whispered. I finally looked his way, his giant smile blew me away.

"What?" I snapped a bit, I was freaking out inside. I was in a whole new world, literally. I couldn't handle this, I was not going to survive and I knew Zim could tell.

Zim pulled my hand and we headed towards a booth. Passing through the crowds was an overwhelming experience since majority of the creatures were staring; the ones standing in line that is. The ones who were busy running off here and there couldn't care less.

We went up to the counter of a booth I had no idea what was for and a transparent blob like being checked us into something. Of course the creature stared at me and I felt so unbelievably uncomfortable that I started to cry. The blob was shocked and Zim held me close as he continued to talk with the other thing while rubbing my back passionately.

Zim had to guide me around since for one, I wasn't looking where I was going because I had my tear stained face in Zim's neck and two, I would had stayed still in the middle of the foreign place and ball my eyes out.

We had to be taken to the region of the planet that Zim was assigned to live so we had to ride in this space craft taxi shaped like two bubbles put together. The driver was secluded in the front bubble of the vehicle thing while me and Zim were alone in the back bubble.

For the first about 10 or so it felt minutes, we said nothing, aside from my snivels. Then Zim wanted to talk I guess.

"Dib…I'm really sorry…" the irken said shamefully as he examined his gloved hands. The ex-invader was still in his invader uniform.

I didn't say anything, I still had nothing to say over the matter; didn't at the beginning, so why now? I could tell Zim didn't like me like this one bit, in fact, I'd say the alien looked just about to cry himself. He looked upset enough anyways.

Instead, he tried to talk to me. "I know, you probably hate me for this but I swear we'll have a better life together, here." The alien tried to sooth me in some way.

I still didn't want to answer but that didn't stop the stray tears from falling. I looked out the window, out at the new world I was forced to live in. It was similar to earth but very different for sure. They had streets but they seemed to be for walking since all the transportation was polluting the air. Buildings were ranged from orange-red to purple-blue like all the colours on the colour wheel but for some reason a lot of the building's colours were very faint. Homes were found randomly within the city, like a home seemed to be wedged between two buildings. That was normal on earth but not one home was attached or identical to another.

"Can you please stop ignoring me for five minutes!" Zim said, annoyed at my silence and I sighed.

"What do you want me to say Zim? I love being here?" I told him and I watched him move awkwardly in his seat.

"I just…I just want to know what you're thinking…how you're feeling..." Zim muttered.

"Ok. I think this was the stupidest thing you've ever done and I feel like shit, happy?" I asked the selfish alien.

Zim bowed his head. "You didn't have to put it like that…I already know that…"

"Then why are you asking a question you know the answer to?" it was clear that I was pissed off.

We didn't talk for I don't how long since I lost track of time as I looked out the window. I wanted to tell Zim that he fucked up but I knew he knew that very well.

Suddenly I felt a rubber hand reach for mine. Zim forced his digits between mine and squeezed tight. I looked at the other male to find him facing away from me and out the window. There wasn't much space in the stupid hovercraft so Zim easily linked my left hand with his left hand out stretched on my knees since I had my feet on the chair as usual.

I didn't bother removing mine or Zim's hand.

Finally, we got to our destination and Zim kept his fingers linked with mine. The driver gave us a look but took the odd looking stuff I assumed was money from Zim. I had an urge to ask Zim if there was any luggage but the thought made me want to die.

I looked up to see that we were in a complex full of tall, silver and shiny odd buildings; just a giant collection of buildings. We must be in a really different part of the planet or something.

I let Zim drag me into the building and up to another counter with a more normal looking female, she was still not human since her skin was a dark yet vibrate purple glittered with elegant scales placed beautifully. I was actually memorized and everyone could tell; Zim wasn't too happy.

"Your room is 247, Floor 5." The lady said, a bit freaked out by my staring and Zim nudged me. I looked at him and saw the hurt he felt behind those magenta eyes. I looked to the ground.

When in the hall, Zim asked. "Why were you staring like that?"

I looked around the halls and was shocked at how much the place reminded me of an apartment building. I listened to Zim and his question then frowned.

"Why does it matter…" I asked, half-assed but then Zim stopped to look at me, he was angry.

"It does matter." Zim said sternly and I scoffed.

"No…it-" I was cut off by Zim taking me by the sides of my arms and pushing me into a wall, I almost tripped as he pushed. Before I could say anything more, the alien smashed his lips against mine so hard I yelped in pain. I tried to push the other male away but he pressed his body against mine and had my arms pinned to the wall, so all I could do was use my hands to pull that the irken's shirt.

Zim was pushing his skinny tongue into my mouth and I felt his leg being shoved between mine. I was literally being strapped to the wall by the greedy alien.

I didn't know why Zim started to heavily make out with me in the halls but I hated how I couldn't stop him. I made loud, muffled sounds of protest and squirmed as much as I could but that made Zim's hold on me tighter.

The alien explored my mouth and it was tough not finding my own tongue in his mouth too. I tried not to kiss back.

It wasn't fair…

Zim removed his mouth but not his body. We panted and Zim spoke in a tired tone against my neck. "It matters."

%%%%%

Inside 'our' room was a wide living room with a hall that leaded to a bathroom, storage room and of course, a bedroom. The kitchen area was small and really weird looking, I couldn't guess at what anything was. The freakiest part about the place was that the living room and the balcony were not separated by a wall but glass surrounded the balcony.

I was currently standing in the balcony, staring out at the protective glass. It was scary being in a room designed this way. I stood there alone until Zim came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck lovingly.

"The baggage will be here in a few hours." Zim informed me as he placed butterfly kisses on my pale skin.

I shuttered. "Your baggage…" I corrected the alien and tried to shake off said alien. I didn't want to be touched.

I could feel Zim frown. "I packed you things too…" Zim admitted and stood beside me.

"How?" I asked, still staring out at the glass balcony.

"I bought you things...I knew all the things you liked…"Zim said sadly. Normally, Zim would have gloated about how amazing he was for knowing everything I liked but it was different this time and I could tell Zim hated himself for it.

"You're sick." I said in disgust and turned to leave. I might as well go to sleep since I had enough of all this shit. Zim didn't even bother to stop me.

I opened the door to the room me and Zim were supposed to share forever now and I quietly shut the door behind me, slid down the surface of the door, sat down, and cried. My heart fell heavily and painful, it was unbearable.

I was never going home; I would never see earth, the sky, the sun, the moon, and my family ever again. Sure, they were alive but now it felt like it was me who was destroyed, not earth. I let my own guard down and now I'm paying the price, for the rest of my life. I was so caught up in protecting my home planet I never protected myself. Why did I think befriending Zim, a selfish, cocky, asshole alien, was ever a good idea! What compelled my brain to conjunct such a stupid thought!

…love…

I fell in love with a selfish, cocky, asshole alien named Zim and he fell in love with me…

Love created my ultimate fate.

I looked around the room and felt a shiver go down my spine, it looked a lot like a room on earth; the bed, the night stand with a funny looking light source on top, a dresser and a closet with no sliding doors. There was a window but it was a long and narrow window that started a little under the ceiling and ended a little above the floor.

I stood up and walked to it, intrigued by it. I looked through it and down at the city with the hover cars and other weird differences. The complex full of buildings weren't just straight up buildings like on earth. They were similar but on these buildings, blocks at random stuck out and this room, the bed room was the room that was one of those blocks. I started to shake. There was no support under this floor, just another blocked unit or just the plain ground.

I had to sit down for a minute to calm myself then I noticed that the bed was beyond comfortable! Quickly, I went under the covers and I was out like a light 5 seconds later…

%%%%%

It wasn't surprising but to be honest, I thought I'd get over what happened.

But I was still not over it. In fact, I'd been in this bed all day, everyday… it has been two weeks and I've made this bed my coffin. Many times, Zim has tried to coax me out somehow but I never fell for it. Whether I was depressed and cried for him to leave me alone or pissed and told the alien to fuck off, I would never leave the bed. Only to use the washroom of course but I made sure to do that when Zim left the house.

It was hard at first since the minute I sneaked out of the room, Zim was hot on my case, convincing me that it was better 'out there' than in the room but I wouldn't listen.

There was a point where we fought, physically. Zim wouldn't budge from in front of the door so I yanked him and we fell to the floor, ripping at each other's clothes. Zim scratched me and I bite him. I'd stand up to make a run for it but found myself tumbling to the ground again. The fight lasted almost an hour of us trying to prevent the other from getting to the bedroom door. And every time I think about the incident, I laugh. We must have looked comical.

I laughed to myself a lot as I thought back to all the times when I happy, happy with Zim. I couldn't say it was all a lie because the alien still loved me…he loved me so much.

Zim packed away his belongings and mine, with the help of Gir, who lived with us as well but as usual the robot watched 'TV' with was referred to as 'boxed entertainment' here. Their words for things were very…professional and quite literal from what I hear. Zim would translate things for me like I cared.

Zim made me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, even though I never ate it. I haven't eaten anything solid in weeks, just this planet's water which has an odd yet pleasing flowery taste. Zim made sure to buy tons of it for me. He tried to keep the water in the fridge so I would have to go out and get it but he gave up and but the bottles in the bedroom because I wouldn't get out of bed. I think I was too depressed to eat, plus the food looked different, not bad but different. Zim would tell me that I should at least eat but I never listened.

I just never listened. I alienated myself from this foreign world, trying as hard as I could to relive the memories back home.

The door creaked open and I heard Zim step in. He walked up the bed and I felt the 'mattress' or 'sleeping pad' as they call it, dip. Then a hand was placed on my thigh. I was facing away from the door like always since I choose to look out the long and narrow window. The floor me and Zim lived on mustn't be that high since the hover cars would zoom by; that was my entertainment.

"I got a job today. "Zim said delicately.

"That's great." I said in my dead tone voice.

"It's in a factory for making different types of machinery since I used to be an invader and all." Zim said. The alien kept me posted on things too.

"Mmm." Was all I said. Zim's selfishness blows my mind, he talked to me like I was his most prized possession, as if all his undying love was for me…making me look like the selfish one because I never accepted it or give it any value. I did but I was miserable. Nothing was perceived as 'good' for me right now…

Now that I think about it, at the beginning I was depressed…now I'm just miserable…is the process degrading?

"Dib, can I have a kiss?"

I forgot where I was for a second because of my deep thinking. Zim was now leaning over my curled up figure and looking at me with his vibrate, pleading eyes as my vacant, distant ones stared lifelessly at the alien.

Zim knew I never answered him after he asked those kinds of questions. It was his way of giving me a heads up before he'd kiss me, like now, I felt the alien's warm lips on mine. The action never deepened because I never did anything and it would be awkward for Zim to make out with a zombie.

We looked at each other and I could tell something changed in Zim then the alien crawled into bed with me. He took my hand with both of his and held it tight as he curled up next to me. I gave the irken a questioning look.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a hint of interest. Zim has never done something like this before.

Zim looked up at me and assumed my question was an invitation to kiss me again. Then again, and again, and again, to the point where I had to push the other male away or else he would have never stopped.

"What?" I asked irritated and slightly confused.

Zim stoked the side of my cheek that wasn't against the pillow as he spoke. "When will you be happy again?"

I looked at the other male and rolled my eyes and tried to roll onto the other side but Zim stopped me.

"Can you just tell me if I can ever make you happy here, Dib?" Zim asked as if it was very important.

I sighed and lay on my back, avoiding his face as I said "probably not…"

**Uh-oh! Dibby is depressed and Zim can't help him. :T This is the second last chapter btw! :O**


	10. Chapter 10

**FINALLY! I got it doooone! Sorry for the wait guys! DX I had the end in mind, I took a while to write it though.**

**I really enjoyed writing this story, probably one of my favs. and thank you sooooo much for all the support and loooove~!**

**Please, enjooooy~~~**

I didn't see Zim as much now that he had a job and the saddest part was that I started to miss the alien's company. My head hurt from the conflicting emotions raging inside me lately. I still loved Zim, I still did, so what was stopping me? I wanted to run away. I didn't want to stay here, Zim was the only reason I was still here wasn't it?

Whenever Zim left for work I'd go out into the living room with Gir. It was a routine now since Zim had been working wherever he was working for about two weeks.

I finally began eating. The first time I looked into the fridge I saw every single meal Zim had made me and I stared at the sight. Zim never threw out a meal and he never made a meal twice. His dedication was remarkable, especially when I found the cook book he had on the table in the living room. I couldn't read the thing but I knew it was in irken.

This planet was the most diverse place I've ever seen. It was like having every nationality on earth on this planet but no boarders. It amazed me how they got anything done effectively on this planet, how they used resources, how did they get things done economically, mentally, physically. The more I sat in the living room with Gir the more I wondered. It was like my curious nature from earth was returning.

I thought their TV would help me obtain information about this place but their television was made for the soul purpose of entertainment. No information was distributed through the entertainment box. That was what books were for. Books gave information, like how to cook or politics. No mixed media, it was this or that. Solid black or white.

I then wondered about treatment of individuals, everyone was different here so did they have their own set of rules or must they be confined in a universal set of do's and don'ts like earth.

I didn't know anything about this place and I believe that was the main reason I wanted to run back to the place I was comfortable with. I knew everything at home…I knew nothing here.

They would judge me, they would hate me, and I was so different.

As I watched more cartoons with Gir, I realised that I wasn't mad at Zim anymore. It was the fact that I had the most overwhelming fear of rejection and lack of knowledge.

%%%%%

At night, Zim always held me close. He'd wrap his skinny and warm arms around my waist and nuzzle his soft bald head against my neck or my back. Sometimes, He'd mutter sweet nothings and leave those skin tingling butterfly kisses.

Tonight, nothing.

I watched Zim get into bed and lay on his back for a while, he looked heavily concentrated. The alien was deep in thought. It'd been two weeks since our last conversation. Zim still kissed me goodbye and held me close at night but this time was different. I could feel that Zim had something to tell me, he was just too scared or nervous.

Finally the alien turned to me with a look of self-destruction as he once again held me close but I could feel that Zim's muscles that were always so relaxed were now tense. Zim needed a hug; someone to comfort him. Now that I think about it, Zim had no one to show him so compassion…

For the first time for a while, I pulled Zim close to me. I wrapped my weak and cold arms around his tense form and pressed our bodies together. For a minute, it felt so foreign and I felt Zim freeze at my actions but then shoved his face into my chest as if a pillow to cry on.

We lay there in silence, sharing a moment I couldn't describe. A moment I didn't want to end for some reason. I had that sick gut feeling of change. Good or bad, I didn't know.

Then Zim uttered in a whisper. "I have a day off tomorrow."

%%%%%

I felt the bed dip again in my sluggish, sleepy state then those soft lips on mine, arousing me from sleep. I slowly open my eyes to see Zim with a half-hearted smile.

Beside the alien was a portable table with breakfast. I looked at him with confused eyes. Did Zim want to spend time with me because he had a day off? I sat up and waited for some sort of explanation.

"Morning." Zim said softly.

"Morning…" I mumbled as I adjusted myself under the sheets and looked at the food on the table then at Zim, who smiled nervously before quickly looking down at his hands.

"I made you food." Zim pointed out and I sighed, just wanting to get to the point.

"Zim, what's the matter?" I said dreadfully. It was like deje vu and I hated the feeling.

Zim looked at me and I watched those long, black stalks lower.

"I…um…" Zim said before looking to the ground and took a deep breath. "I booked you a travel train…" Zim strained to say.

My eyes went wide and my heart beat faster. "Travel…train?"

What was the alien going to do with me now! Dump me somewhere else? Send me to some horrible planet where they devour innocent lives!

"It…travels the galaxy, but certain areas-" Zim tried to explain but I cut him off.

"So what? You're going to just dump me off somewhere else because I don't love you!" I blurted out in frustration and I felt my heart break. I should have thought that though.

I watched in silent horror as Zim stared at me with big, hurtful eyes then he looked away from me. "I'm sending you back!" he almost yelled.

I felt my entire body freeze. Zim stood up and continued to face away from me. "I had to make…a special order for a route no train has ever taken…" Zim began rubbing his face with his hands and my heart hammered against my chest. The alien was…crying? "I paid extra for a custom route to…earth…"

Everything stood still at this point. I felt my head go fuzzy and light headed to Zim's words but before I could say anything, the alien left the room.

I sat in what felt like a completely empty room. I stared at the food Zim had made for me and I decided to get up and talk to the alien. Was Zim being serious? Was he really sending me back! Back home!

I opened the door to find Zim heading to the kitchen. I walked in and grabbed Zim by the wrist forcefully. I was going to shout at him until I stared right into tear filled eyes.

Zim's eyes went wide for a second then away from me. I think he was ashamed.

Seeing Zim like this after what I said, broke my heart. How could I say that!

"I'm sorry, Zim…I…I didn't meant to say that I didn't-" I stopped my sentence due to Zim shaking his head and pulling his arm away from me. The thing was, he wasn't mad at all.

"It's fine Dib, Zim understands." The alien said with a weak smile, which tore my heart apart even more.

"No! It's not fine, I shouldn't have said that!" I raised my voice, desperately wanting Zim to understand, to somehow forget I said I didn't love him but saying I did now seemed…wrong.

"Dib, relax. Zim will help you back your stuff." Zim said as he put a hand on my shoulder and nodded firmly, like it was all said and done. I stare at Zim in disbelief. Has he gone mad?

Gently, I felt Zim trail his fingertips over my arm to indicate I follow him. I hung my head and walked to the room after Zim. When we were inside the room again, Zim turned to me and gestured to the bed.

"You should eat before you go, Dib-human." Zim said with a bit of humor and again I looked at him but soon nodded. I didn't want to fight with Zim, he seemed sure of himself so I'll just do was he said.

As soon as I sat down, I thought about going back home. What would it be like? Did anyone notice my absence? I bet it's been a year! Then I looked at the food Zim made for me and decided I didn't want it to get cold. Plus my heart was beating so hard and fast, I really need to do something else before it exploded.

I ate and watched Zim rummage through the closet for everything he put away from me just to put it all back. The sight was painful but Zim didn't seem to mind.

In the middle of packing, Zim looked at me and tilted his head. "you want to go back, right?"

I looked up at Zim, shocked and a little curious. I nodded without a second thought. I got a small smile from Zim but I made a note to myself that I needed to think before I acted really badly. Not like it mattered anymore did it?

I finished eating and Zim finished packing my stuff and then took my dishes. I tried to do it myself but Zim insisted I get ready. So I did, I took a shower and cleaned my teeth and picked out on outfit Zim bought me so long ago. I went to the mall with Zim as a joke when we were on earth but mostly because I thought it was be fun to take the alien there. I saw a black sweater with a lame and simplistic alien spacecraft on the back and fell in love with it; I didn't end up buying it though. But I'm wearing it now because that damn alien found it and bought it for me and I couldn't resist no matter how douchey I felt wearing it.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Zim, who was at the front door, eyed me up and down. "Looking Good, Human." He said and I scoffed awkwardly. Zim was in a long black coat with those old combat boots on.

Zim took my suitcase, even after I argued with him for it, and held the door for me. As I walked out, I took one last look out the balcony one more time before turning back. Zim closed the door and locked it. We walked down the hall and out of the building. I squinted to all the lights that could pretty much qualify as the sun, it was a strangely welcoming feeling and I felt my stomach drop. Something was off.

"I called a taxi so you didn't have to take a bus with all those things, since they freak you out." Zim said as he looked around casually.

Zim saying that jogged my memory of when I cried because that one guy looked at me. I bowed my head shamefully. I was such a wuss…and I called myself the defender of earth. Then the thought of earth made my heart beat faster as if trying to reach my home planet. I was going home again!

I looked at Zim and he soon looked over at me. I was going home yet, I was feeling unsure…Zim smiled and I felt something grip my heart.

%%%%%

The bubble taxi came again and Me and Zim were off to some place I had no clue about but I looked out the window, at all the figures and was shocked to see that they didn't scare me nearly as much, in fact, I wanted to know about them. My hands felt sweaty and that sickening feeling of guilt and regret settled in my stomach again. Why was this happening? I should be happy! Jumping for joy!

Maybe I was just nervous. I would be on a 'travel train' in space, alone. Unless…

"Are you coming with me?" I asked, a hint of fear in my voice.

Zim shook his head. "I didn't have that much money."

I nodded slowly. Yup, I was definitely nervous! It was like riding a plane alone but 10 times worse!

"How long?" I asked, my voice sounded even more frightened.

Zim didn't answer for a bit, I assumed he was counting in his head. "about 6-7 earth months…but it won't feel that long on the travel train." Zim assured me. "And they feed you and give you a place to sleep, you'll be fine."

I nodded again and started at my sweating hands. Then another question came to my mind.

"Why did you just tell me today…?"

Zim finally looked at me and I could tell he was examining my face before answering. "It wasn't easy. I tried to tell you so many times but I needed the pressure to have to tell you….sorry." Zim looked down, looking as if he had failed.

I swallowed. "It's fine." I tried to act tough but I was losing my resolve. I was getting that distant feeling again. This was all too unreal and…unpleasant.

We got off at an extremely fancy looking area. It was mostly opened space and ahead I could see the travel train. A sparkling white and gold exterior. Far more advanced and classy looking than anything on earth. I looked around in awe and Zim walked beside me with my baggage again.

"Fancy, huh?" Zim said proudly.

"How did you…?" I asked breathlessly.

Zim smirked. "I know the guy who drives the train, he also works with me. He gave me a deal" Zim winked.

I followed the alien to the train and watched as a rather chubby but friendly looking guy come out. He looked fairly normal excepted he had snail eyes. The ones were they stick out of their head on long stalks. It didn't freak me out as much though.

The man smiled at the sight of Zim then his eyes fell on me, just as excited. Suddenly it got a bit harder to breath, my breath felt very heavy.

"Hello, Zim. Good to see you here." The man consumed Zim's tiny hand with his huge one and shook it. And when I said consume I meant consume, the man had no digits. Just pure blob material.

"Hey, Gab. This is Dib, my traveler." Zim said…happily…everything was bugging me now. Something was wrong here. I felt out of place.

The man, who I now know as Gab, turned to me, smiled and shook my hand as well, more eager than when he shook Zim's hand. I felt the cool, silky goop of his hand washed over my skin and I gasped, not used to the feeling.

Zim and Gab talked for a bit and Gab left. Zim turned to me and smiled. "Are you excited? You're going home."

"Are you excited?" I snapped, but not in an angry tone, more like a desperate and panicked voice as I looked around frantically.

I felt Zim forcefully grab my am and yank me to face him. "Dib, what are you saying?" Zim asked me in pure concern. I looked at him and there was an instant connection.

I didn't want to go.

Gab came back with a jump to his step and a clipboard in his arm and my breathing hitched in my throat. Zim heard it and asked in a quick, rushed voice. "Dib! Answer me! What's wrong?"

"Ok~ So I need the traveller to sign here and I can start the engine and go to this mysterious new planet!" the blobby guy said happily.

My eyes began to water as I felt that uncomfortable tingling in my nose and slowly I took a step back, watching the man reach into his back pocket and grab a writing utensil.

Zim, watching the man as well and still gripping my arm, looked confuse; torn between something so intense, causing him to freeze in place.

In a second, the clip board was thrust in front of me and I eyes darted straight to the spot; name.

My eyes widened and I watched as Zim turned to look at me and whispered again "Dib, are you ok?" and that's when everything inside me spilled out.

"I…don't…" I whispered and Zim's eyes widened for a second in confusion.

I felt another tight yank from Zim. "You don't want what?" Zim asked, getting really close to my face to try and hide everything from Gab. I couldn't tell if Zim was mad or confused.

I just stared at the clip board and shook my head. "No, Zim. I…I don't want to go!" I panicked and then Zim's eyes stayed wide this time.

I felt like I could breathe a little more when I saw the paper leave my sight and Gab asked "is there something wrong?"

Zim quickly turned from me and my fresh tears to tell Gab to hold on a second and then I felt myself being gently pulled to the side.

A pair and curious magenta eyes stared up at me and I took a hold of the tiny body they belonged to. Zim gasped and whispered my name again in confusion.

I squeezed Zim tightly, never wanting to let him go. I let every tear fall from my eyes. I realized it all then, when I saw Zim smile at the building. Everything I ever wanted, it was all in the moment.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Zim." I said.

"Dib, for the last time, what is wrong!" Zim almost yelled, getting upset with me for not explaining anything.

"What the fuck am I going to do back home?" I asked Zim but didn't let him answer. "Who am I supposed to be with if you're here and I'm there, alone! Go to a place where no one gave a shit about me and leave you! The one person who ever cared!"

I felt Zim go silent as I cried and yelled into his soft black jacket. "Leave everything I ever wanted to go to a shit hole just because I was too scared and out of place here? Why didn't I see it all before! Why did it take almost losing you to realise that I love you more than anything! Anything! Even more than earth!" I cried helplessly into Zim's shoulder and held he as close as I could.

I knew by now that everyone was watching me and I didn't care. All my cares melted away completely when I felt Zim's arms run up the length on my back and grip the top on my shoulders and pulled me in more.

We stood there as I calmed down and Zim was able to pull away from my grip and looked at me with an unsure smile.

"S-so this means…you will not leave Zim?" The alien asked and I took his perfect face with both hands and kissed it with all my might, in hopes I could make up for every kiss he gave me and I didn't give back.

Zim yelped at my harshness but gave in and wrapped his arms around my neck.

Holding each other close, we kissed passionately and I was never happier.

The moment had to come to an end and when I looked at Zim, his smile was 10 times wider than when we got here.

"I really didn't want you to go…" Zim said in relief. "Stupid human…" he muttered and I laughed quietly, letting Zim clear my face of the mess I made all over it.

"I take it, the trips cancelled." Gab said in slight disappointment but total understanding.

Me and Zim both looked at Gab apologetically. "Sorry, Gab." Zim said.

"It's all good, my friend. Go live your lives together and all that jazz. Don't let me see you two around here again." The man laughed as he walked away. "See you at work, Zim!"

I smirked at the guy then looked at Zim, who was waiting for me to do so.

I took a deep breath. "Wanna go back home?" I asked.

Zim nodded. "But, by bus?" Zim challenged me and I took my suit case from his hand and grabbed his hand, locking it into mine.

"Ok." I smiled and we walked out of the travel train station.

"Sorry for being so cheesy back there." I said with slight embarrassment.

Zim laughed and shook his head. "You were worse when we were friends." Zim said in slight disgust.

"Oh…" I said stupidly then Zim kissed me on the cheek.

"You are Zim's human forever now." Zim said menacingly yet sweetly.

I kissed Zim back on the cheek. "Yes, I am." I said happily.

**I hope you guys loved this story as much as I loved writing it! ;w;**


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